Shear Genius
Do It Yourself

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The Red Menace

Dee gets praise for her highlighting and the "freshness" of the style. Kim Nekisa (I swear to you, that typo was completely unintentional) gets dinged for not doing enough to her client's hair. It does look fairly limp and uninspired in this light. Nicole's model boasts of being able to do her hair in eight minutes today, which impresses the judges. They think the style flatters her. Nicole, for her part, doesn't fail to get a couple jabs in at some of her unsuccessful competitors.

Backstage, Glenn says she'd give her right tit for that magazine pictorial, and she drives this point home by... grabbing her right tit. She holds onto it for a long time, too, which makes me think she maybe wouldn't give up her right tit since she's clearly so fond of it. Meredith takes the opposite view -- she needs to win this or else her reputation as an instructor of cutting curly hair will take a hit. The judges loved Glenn's bangs, hated Meredith's squid-hair, praise Dee's happy, healthy hair, don't think either Charlie or Nekisa did enough of anything (and Nekisa also didn't impart enough styling wisdom to her client), and loved Nicole's 8-minute 'do.

The stylists are called out: Dee, Glenn, and Nicole are the good ones, and the winner is...Glenn! Take a moment to say goodbye to that right tit, m'dear. The stylists give a hearty cheer for her, too, which is nice to see.

Charlie, Nekisa, and Meredith are the bottom three, but Charlie of course has immunity, so he ain't going anywhere. He apologizes and pledges to do better next time. Jaclyn draws out the drama on the other two, before telling Nekisa she is... safe. Damn it. She drama-queens like a motherfucker and interviews that it's "game on" or some such bullshit. Girl better start making out with Dee before that storyline goes stale or else she's toast. Meredith, for her part, resigns herself to the idea that opinions are like assholes: everybody's got 'em, and they're all full of shit. Okay, she doesn't take it quite so bad, but she kind of scares me (in a good way), so maybe I'm not so off the mark.

Joe R has never paid more than $15 for a haircut in his entire life. Celebrate his ignorance of hair via email or at his blog, Low Resolution.

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Shear Genius

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