Shear Genius

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Lauren S: B- | Grade It Now!
Doggy Style

Jaclyn looks much more pleased to see the remaining stylists than one would think after last week. She chastises them gently as she shows off the blank Allure Wall of Fame cover. But she has faith that they'll pick it up this week, so let's get to the guest judge and the short cuts challenge. The guest judge is known as the "kitchen beautician" (everyone tries to look excited) and his name is Robert Hallowell. They need to create a futuristic look that will be judged on its unusual cut, shape and height and must use kitchen products and no normal beauty products to achieve their look. Daniel wistfully declares in his Texas twang, "Bye-bye, hairspray!" Robert unveils the products they can use, which at first glance include anchovies and caramel. Robert tells them that they'll be saving the environment by using these instead of hairspray and all its horrible chemicals, concluding that they'll look great and be green. Green is what I'd be if I had to smell a combo of caramel and anchovies sitting in my hair. The scissor boxes are chosen to pick clients and products. Nekisa is number one, then Paulo, Charlie, Nicole, Dee and finally Daniel. He's worried about his client's thin hair but has a secret plan including Velcro rollers that he's sure no one else will use. Yes, Velcro rollers are a quite newfangled idea and I'm sure no stylist is aware of their existence.

Product-choosing time. Nekisa picks molasses and mustard while she makes some remark about the jar of anchovies resembling Charlie's insides. Yes, the insult makes no sense, much like her continued presence on this show. Charlie snaps back at her but I'm choosing to ignore the whole thing in hopes that if I do, she'll disappear. Paulo gets corn syrup and coconut oil. Charlie gets flour and sea salt to accentuate the really big shape he wants to create. Nicole gets caramel and sugar while Charlie explains that she's sensitive to smells and might vomit. I don't know how anyone that sensitive to smells could survive even in a normal salon with all the chemicals and whatnot wafting through the air, but she must make it through somehow. Dee gets egg whites and butter to use as gel and shaping cream, respectively. Daniel then gets avocado and peanut butter and declares he's taking a risk because peanut butter makes him gag and vomit. I think with that statement, our beautiful love affair just came to a tragic end because I can't envision a life without peanut butter. Goodbye, Daniel my love -- we were beautiful while we lasted!

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Shear Genius




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