Shear Genius

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Lauren S: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Carpet, Meet Drapes

After the "shear" excitement of little-known reality guest stars last week, what awaits us tonight? (Other than the regular cast of little-known reality stars.) ("Stars.") Jaclyn continues to loosen up a tad and express some emotion as she congratulates Charlie, but then gets serious to ask who he thinks is struggling. He names Gail, and predictably she responds by saying she's a fighter who is going to fight. As opposed to a fighter who is going to knit. We also learn that Matt has poor social skills and gets on everyone's nerves. Jaclyn then introduces the week's guest judge, Campbell Mc-something -- I can't figure out his last name because Bravo won't stop showing giant promos on the bottom of the screen for Kathy Griffin's show. And hey, advertise away, but maybe not when it obscures information in the show that's on RIGHT NOW. Campbell's clients include Katherine Heigl, Christina Aguilera, and Cameron Diaz, or in other words, some of the most divisive actresses in Hollywood. Daniel is naturally smitten but is delightfully charming about it, as always.

This week's Short Cut challenge is to create a "structurally complicated" hairdo that incorporates at least one accessory, and she warns them that a braid or a bun won't cut it. This is a challenge I appreciate as a girl with ridiculously thick hair, whose own fancy hairdos are generally structurally complicated and involve a whole lot of hidden support. They choose scissor boxes that they aren't allowed to open, and they meet their clients, all of whom have hair that is, at the very least, waist-length. They all open their scissor boxes and in a ridiculous gimmick, the number on their scissors represents the length of their client's hair. Why does it not have a name? Or a number from 1-10? Do they think we don't appreciate just seeing the length of hair on these women and need to know an exact measurement? My brain hurts from these questions, so let's just get to the challenge, shall we?

Ha! Meredith gets a client whose hair is longer than Meredith is tall. A couple of them luck out with clients who have 20-something inches of hair while she gets 68 inches. That seems just a tad unfair. Jaclyn then gives them the last rule -- they are not allowed to cut the hair at all. Everyone looks shocked -- shocked! -- at this, which seems weird to me, because if they could just cut the hair to a manageable length, where would the challenge be? Once again, brain hurt. Sigh. Everyone gets an hour, and there's a whole lot of introductions and stark panic. Everyone gives their ideas -- Charlie isn't going to go too crazy because he has to worry about just getting up the heavy hair, Meredith is just freaking out because she has to use her feet as well as her hands just to separate her client's hair, and Matthew tells us he's going to make a sort of "headdress" of curls. Is anyone else's Bad-Idea-Meter ™ going off right now? There's a lot of braiding and rolling as Campbell checks everyone out, and there's mild drama because both Charlie and Matthew are incorporating pearls. Also, Charlie's hair looks "bridal" and he nearly chokes and jumps to change things.

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Shear Genius

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