Shear Genius

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Orange You Glad I Didn't Actually Want a Haircut?

Jaclyn Smith welcomes the remaining 11 stylists (I imagine over the coming weeks we'll see proof that some of them will deserve the Air Quotes of Scorn -- "stylists" -- but for now I'll be charitable) to the salon and announces that as last week's winner, Daniel has his hairstyle pictured on the "Allure Wall of Fame." He's also got immunity for this week and he grins toothily. She tells them that today's Short Cut Challenge is to do just that -- give their client a short cut. Dee thinks she's got down as it's all about "texture and sexy" and Nicole and her cute blonde pixie cut announce that she's living proof that short can be sexy. This probably means one of them is the best and one is the worst in this challenge. As winner, Daniel will get to pick his client first but the WAY cooler and more sadistic prize is that he'll then choose the order in which the others pick their clients. This show is trying to ensure that one of them goes after someone else with razor-sharp scissors right off the bat! He's actually freaked out by the task and the idea that people will then hate him.

The clients file in and all have giant masses of hair -- Daniel picks a girl with brown waves because she's, "a big, fuzzy frizzball" and he can't wait to smooth her hair out. I'm so curious how she reacted to just hearing that comment on national television. Daniel then calls names for people to pick their clients, and says he's trying to be random and as fair as possible even though it's a game, and that he's never been that competitive. It's not a comment you generally hear from someone on a competitive reality show, and he seems sincere, but dude, come on. You're going to have to sack up just a little to survive here. Parker picks first and reads all sorts of stuff about color into why he was picked first, but claims it was bad strategy. Glenn is next, then Dee, Charlie, Matt, Nekisa, Nicole, Meredith, Gail, and finally Paulo, who takes it very good-naturedly and happily promises to kick Daniel's ass with his haircut.

Nekisa has a challenge because her client doesn't want her hair too short. One wonders why she (presumably) volunteered for this challenge. Her hair is already a mess from too much bleach and is broken off. So far the theme is to have it a bit longer in front. Dee wants to see Nicole go home because she's so good, which is just about the most honest thing I've ever heard a reality contestant admit. Meredith is cutting her curly-haired client dry, and Rene is terrified at how it's going to turn out. Charlie is giving his client a Mia Farrow haircut, but she doesn't know what that means as she's never heard of Mia Farrow. OH MY GOD THESE KIDS TODAY. Well, that's out of my system. (For now.) Thirty minutes in, Jaclyn stops them to introduce their guest judge, Tabatha. From what I can figure out, Tabatha was on the show last year and was a giant bitch. Or, as Nicole puts it, "sassy." Tabatha walks around glaring at everyone and acting like they are absolute crap. It's kind of awesome. Jaclyn then calls time.

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Shear Genius

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