The Empty Hearse

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 656 USERS: A-
I Don't Shave For Sherlock Holmes

We cut to John and Mary's bedroom. Mary is sound asleep. John's stare burns holes in their ceiling. We cut to...

221 Baker Street. Mrs. Hudson is doing her washing up when she hears a noise. One gloved hand turns down the radio volume while the other grabs her weapon of choice -- a frying pan. Opening her flat door, she heads toward the door in the corridor. Through the window, she sees a long, lean, oddly familiar silhouette. Sherlock opens the door and enters the hallway. Mrs. Hudson screams.

Sidebar. Despite her prolonged scream, I don't associate Mrs. Hudson with any out-of-control fan faction. She loves Sherlock and she does what she can for him, even though she doesn't always understand him. This is not the worst type of fan in the world.

We cut to St. Bart's rooftop. I'm tired of the end of "The Reichenbach Fall." You know the drill. This time, instead of the real Sherlock standing on the roof, we see a corpse propped up. It's holding a mobile phone, and there's a picture of Sherlock pasted over its face. Against a chimney, further back on the roof, Moriarty sits and snickers, as Sherlock, who is seated next to him, talks on the phone to John. When Moriarty giggles too loudly, Sherlock shushes him and continues his telephoned suicide note, then releases the corpse. It plummets to the sidewalk, below. John screams Sherlock's name. Blah blee bloo. Back up on the roof, Moriarty and Sherlock share a laugh. When their eyes meet, they recognize their attraction. Sherlock moves in for a kiss.

"What? Are you out of your mind?" Anderson's leading a meeting of his Empty Hearse group, and he can't believe the above theory. Laura, the young woman who floated it, says it's just as likely as some of Anderson's theories. Anderson is irate. "Look, if you're not going to take it seriously, Laura..." Laura (Sharon Rooney) insists she does take it seriously. Anderson blusters about how he founded the Empty Hearse group to discuss theories. He's convinced Sherlock is still out there. The TV in the background is going to back him up any second now, but before I cover what the reporter is saying, take a moment to notice the bottom BBC News crawl. It reads, "MAGNUSSEN SUMMONED BEFORE PARLIAMENTARY C..." More importantly, of course, is the "BREAKING NEWS" text above it, which reads: "HAT DETECTIVE ALIVE." Laura says, "Oh, my God." There are at least eight people in Anderson's flat. Their phones all go off at the same time. Laura holds her phone up for Anderson to see, as she says, "Oh. My. God." Text messages pop up on our TV screens. Most of them read #SherlockLives.

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