Siberia
Lyin’ and Tiger and Bare

Episode Report Card
admin: C | 41 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
A Tiger? In Siberia?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Siberia: a lot of setup. Perhaps we could move past the setup phase and start having things happen to characters who are sticking around for the whole season? I mean, it's fun to have people die or quit right away, but eventually things have to matter for our protagonists.

Johnny tells us that he's out in the woods picking flowers to give to Carolina because he likes her. Then we see her surprise him, and he refuses to admit what he's doing. So he doesn't want to say "I was picking flowers to give to you," which makes me wonder how he was going to give her the flowers once he'd picked them. He tries to distract her by asking what she could have if she could have anything. She would have a delicious meal. They talk aboubt how great food is (picture the discussions about two-thirds of the way through a Survivor season), and then they stumble on a lake. They're really excited by this, even though there's already a river nearby. Johnny strips to his boxers and cannonballs in. Carolina keeps her shirt on and also jumps in. We get the standard spiel about how great it feels to wash yourself. Johnny surfaces right next to Carolina and they're about a foot from kissing when Natalie and Annie shout at them from the shore.

Now everybody has come to the lake, and everyone's really happy about it. Natalie goes with pixelated toplessness and soon everybody's goofing around. Neeko complains that they're supposed to be looking for food and everyone thinks he's a killjoy. Esther goes full nude. Miljan has comedy underwear that is suspiciously clean if everyone's been here for three days without any bathing. Carolina is snooty about Esther skinny-dipping and says she will not be getting naked "on this show." This show allegedly lasts three months of her life, so I think she'll probably want to change her mind about that eventually.

Not everyone is in the water. Daniel and Irene stay on the shore, and Sabina is in the bushes glowering at everyone. She tells us that it's a weird place to have fun. What, you can't have fun in Siberia? Then she sees a footprint that might be a bear.

That night, at the campfire, Miljan wants to play Truth or Dare. Natalie picks "Truth" and he asks her favorite sexual position. Now she's shocked that this got personal, which is the whole point of Truth or Dare. Finally, she says, "I try them all." She picks Irene next, who doesn't want to play. But she's peer-pressured into it. She picks Dare, which is not what you choose if you really don't want to play. Natalie tells her to get up and dance for everybody. Miljan plays drums on a plastic bowl, and Irene shuffles back and forth. Daniel is staring openly, and Miljan doesn't think he'll get any. You know, one thing Big Brother has taught us is that if you want your reality-show denizens to really act up for the cameras, you should provide some free booze.

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Siberia

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