Siberia
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 25 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Amazing Lost Lord of the Survivor Flies

Johnny and Neeko get to the camp and start checking out the cabins. The cabin Johnny goes into has six beds and he goes through swapping pillows. I don't know why, but it's possible he's just got trying to get the fluffiest one. Neeko's cabin is the same, except that Sabina is already inside it. Neat! I assume her big secret is going to be that she's identical twins. Or possibly she knows how to teleport. Incidentally, I don't think it's quite fair to say that these people will be living just like the fur traders of a hundred years ago. After all, the fur traders had visitors and a social life. And furs to keep themselves warm!

The main crowd carefully picks their way through the muddy river and we get a few more names and occupations. Sam, for example, is a Brooklyn bouncer. And Harpreet is a graduate student from Washington DC. He's the one that followed Berglind off the path and they're lost. Of course. That's what happens to you when you wander off the path. That's why there's a path.

Sabina finds a pocket knife hidden in her cabin. This is obviously very significant.

The main crowd gets to the camp. Victoria (sales clerk from Winnipeg) is happy. Natalie thinks the cabins actually seem pretty nice. They are! Assuming you don't mind sleeping in bunk beds with a bunch of other people. The cabins get divided up man-woman, and the contestants take a moment to count heads. Daniel and Tommy are missing, as are Berglind and Harpreet. So we check in on the two straggler teams! Tommy carries Daniel to that river, and then starts helping him through. Berglind insists to Harpreet that they're not lost, although they've turned around to try to find the path again. She finds the red flag that was thrown on the ground, and it doesn't seem like it really distracted them all that much. And now they're on the real path again!

Miljan (a club DJ from Montenegro) notes that there are six beds in each cabin, so with fourteen people, two will presumably be sleeping on the ground. And they see that somebody's coming up to the camp. But we don't find out who until after the commercials, because this show is devoted to its reality show tropes. I'd find that entertaining if it exaggerated the tropes, but instead it's just "as much like a reality show as possible." I've already seen shows that do that. They're called "actual reality shows."

After the commercial, we see that the two people that made it are Daniel and Tommy. Apparently spraining your ankle is a better strategy than running straight off the path. Daniel gets carried to what's being called the "boys' cabin." Johnny sneers at the idea of Tommy helping his competition, because it's important to establish Johnny as a jerk early on. Tommy says he wants the money so he can help others. He's so noble!

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Siberia

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