Siberia
What She Said

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | 127 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Press the Button

Daniel pushes the panic button, and nothing happens. He pokes at the button and soon discovers that the power cord doesn't go anywhere. The button doesn't work! Johnny starts shouting at the camera operator and demanding to know what's going on. Sam recommends grabbing the crew radio.

Good plan! Sam's on top of things today. So there's a scuffle that's hard to follow, since it involves people attacking the camera operators that are supposed to be showing us what's happening. Johnny shouts into the radio that there's an emergency while Sam throttles a camera guy. The other camera operator tries to get him off, but he's also still operating the camera, which kind of limits his effectiveness. Sam demands to know what kind of game this is. Man, forget that. I say you find out where the crew sleeps and what they've been eating.

Some time later, the helipad camera people have apparently convinced everyone that they don't know anything, so they have their cameras back. There's no signal on the radio, and no one came today to drop off new tapes. Carolina says they should go to "base camp," which is where the producers live. Sam will stay with Irene while Johnny, Daniel, and Carolina go for it. Oh, that's right, she's "Joyce" now, not Carolina. I'll stick with Carolina for the rest of this episode, then switch next week. Daniel leaves his jacket for Irene.

Sabina hears some shots in the distance. She runs into the trees. By that I mean she runs around the trees and into the woods, not that she runs into an actual tree and falls down. That would be silly.

Carolina leads Johnny and Sam. Johnny is still a little suspicious of her, which is reasonable. She says the base camp is just over that hill. Back at the helipad, Sam tells Irene not to blame herself because it's Esther's fault they all got eliminated. It is!

The team reaches the base camp. Johnny says, "What the hell, guys." It's a bunch of tents, and they're all kind of blown over and empty. No one's here. So we're finally caught up to the things that happened in the commercials that happened before the season even started. Finally! Attention, show: now start having really crazy things happening on a regular basis. I want you to make Lost look like The Andy Griffith Show.

Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.

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Siberia

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