Six Feet Under
A Coat Of White Primer

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M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Bridezilla vs. Not-A-Mom

And then we're watching what looks like a wedding video shot by Claire. Nate the groom tells her he feels "alive," but he's having trouble pinning on his boutonniere. He appeals to his brother for help, but David diagnoses a defective pin: "It won't prick." "Looks like Nate may have to get married without a prick," narrates Claire. Leave it to us pros, please, Claire. Cut to Ruth outside the church. Claire asks her for wedding advice for Nate. After a shy pause, Ruth comes up with "Don't give up. Even when things get hard. And they always do eventually. Never stop trying." Which is probably the same advice Brenda's mom would give, but with an extra "don't" between "things" and "get." Cut to Catherine O'Hara, storming onto the grounds and hollering about nearly getting killed on the drive over. And there's Lisa's sister Barb, asking Claire where David is so she can get the rings. Shaky-cam Claire chases Barb over to David, who hands over the rings and gives the lens a "Fucking Kimmels" look. In the dressing room, Lisa's mom picks up a crying granddaughter. In my first big rookie mistake, I wonder what the Kimmels are even doing at Nate and Brenda's wedding. But soon I realize that we're watching the video from Nate's wedding to Lisa. What tipped me off? The sight of Lisa in her bridal gown. I'm pretty good at sussing these things out, you know. She's blathering on and on into the mirror (where we can now see the camera-wielding Claire) about destiny and Happily Ever After and how every moment of her entire life has led up to this day, just as if she's not going to end up dumped in a hole by her husband in the desert somewhere sans jawbone.

Watching the video in the present day, Nate's next wife Brenda touches the VCR remote to her chin, just to make sure hers is still there. And then the video cuts to Nate again, with a forlorn what have I gotten myself into? look on his face that vanishes when he realizes he's on camera. "Let's do this thang," he smirks before starting down the aisle.

"'Let's do this thang'?" Brenda mocks incredulously from the safe distance of watching all this from the sofa. Nate joins her, offering her a box of saltines and saying, "No analyzing." Brenda says she's "loving." Puke. A sentiment she shares, as she banishes his aromatic cup of coffee to the far end of the room. Nauseated, Brenda? Hmm, what's that about? The tape gets to the actual ceremony and she starts fast-forwarding, even as Nate encourages her to sit through the vows. "Have you learned all kinds of interesting things?" he asks non-snarkily. Brenda says she just doesn't want to do the same things as Lisa and "make everyone uncomfortable." Huh. Whoever this changeling is, she looks exactly like Brenda. That must be why Nate's in such a good mood; the body of his lust-bunny has been inhabited by someone who's, well, let's just say "not a Chenowith." When she goes back to standard play mode, there's Catherine O'Hara again, this time talking about how she shot part of a movie at the church once. Nate comes around to sit by Brenda and assure her that it'll be totally different but perfect, "even if it rains and everybody gets soaked." "That's why I got the tent," Brenda chirps. She hops up on Nate's lap to make out while he runs down a list of other disasters that she's already foreseen and forestalled. Except the one that's actually going to happen. Ahem. On the screen, Catherine O'Hara's saying, "I love how weddings erase the past, like a coat of white primer. Slap a veil on her and the biggest slutbag on the planet becomes a fresh-faced ingenue." Nice thing to say on a wedding video, lady, episode title or no. Brenda calls off the canoodling because she's seriously going to puke this time, and she takes off. She leaves Nate alone on the couch, looking curiously disturbed at a long-range shot of Lisa arguing with Hoyt next to the church, although we can't hear what either of them is saying over the noise of Brenda heaving her guts out in the bathroom. Before he can investigate further, Nate hops up off the couch, asking if Brenda's okay. I know she doesn't look it yet, but do you suppose Brenda's pregnant or something?

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Six Feet Under




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