Six Feet Under
A Private Life

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Yea, though he walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Claire sits under a big oak tree outside her school and works on a sketch. Gabe approaches, and collapses into her lap. He's tired from having to act normal all day. Whatever. I'm tired of seeing him touch Lauren like that, but you don't hear me complaining about it. Except in every other sentence, of course. Claire asks him what the stupidest thing anyone said to him all day was, and Gabe replies that "Packy Walker told [him] he had to get his stomach pumped because he ate his dog's de-worming pills." Yep. That's pretty stupid. Then again, with name like "Packy," was anyone really surprised? Suddenly, George Iseeallofthis wanders past, and Claire unsuccessfully tries to hide her face.

Over at Nikolai's "If Only The Masturbation Were Metaphorical As Well" Flower Shop, Ruth is still trying to talk to Robbie. "Do you want to hear the most horrible moment from my intimate past?" she asks. "No, sister, I do not," he replies. Go, Robbie! Sing it, sister! Unfortunately, she tells him anyway. Since the story involves Ed Begley Jr., masturbation, and extensive surgery to repair the damage to my bleeding eardrums, I won't go into details. Suffice it to say that Robbie is captivated by the notion of Ruth learning to "gild the lily." After laughing a bit, and tenderly grasping her hand in support, Robbie says that he's still not going to tell her about coming out to his parents. "Why not?" asks Ruth. "Because I never did," replies Robbie. He explains that his mom was so wrapped up in raising her kids, that it would have made her life "a failure" if one of them had turned out differently from her plans. "I'm not like that," insists Ruth.

With Brenda firmly ensconced in her Window-Ledge Seat Of Coping With Emotional Distress, Nate recaps the whole Psycho-Billy knife incident to her. He asks about Trevor, and Brenda explains that they were madly in love with each other back when she was eighteen. But then Billy got sick, and Trevor went to Yale without her. She also describes Trevor as being "ridiculously gifted" and "one of those people everyone hates because they're good at everything and always get what they want." I keep telling myself that's why everybody hates me, but I never seem to really believe it. Nate reminds Brenda that she's "ridiculously gifted" too, which is actually a good reminder for everyone, since we haven't even once seen her do anything approaching genius this season. He also wants to call her parents and get Billy committed, with or without Brenda's support. Unfortunately, Ma & Pa Chenowith are in South Africa, and no one knows how to contact them. Uh oh. Gee, I sure hope they didn't fall for one of those "Nigerian diamond reserves" scam emails. Nate tries to console Brenda, and it turns into more of the same old "I love you, why are you pushing me away?" stuff we've all seen a hundred times before.

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Six Feet Under

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