Fade back up on Keith's apartment, as the Big Black Sex Cop moves to answer his ringing doorbell. It's David, and the poor boy is soaking wet. "You're all wet," exclaims Keith, flashing some of his famed police observation skills. "Were you crying?" David replies that it's raining outside, but yeah, he was also crying as well. "I love you," he declares, and Keith admits that he loves David, too. And then they kiss, and the camera swirls around them, and anyone who didn't already know this was a dream sequence is finally tipped off by the cheesy pop music in the background. It's still kinda sweet, though. The gimmick here (and there's always a gimmick) is that it's Keith's dream instead of David's. After the kiss, we cut to Keith waking up and finding Taylor eating breakfast in front of the TV in the living room. Taylor continues her habit of watching the most disturbing TV shows possible, and her choice of entertainment on this particular morning features an overly cheerful talking skeleton. I guess that's better than talking hamsters, but still. Keith berates her for not eating enough, and Taylor reports once again that her stomach hurts. Their bickering is interrupted by the arrival of Eddie, who offers some friendly, if unsolicited, parenting advice. Keith instantly switches into Angry! mode, and after dragging Eddie into the hallway and expositing that it's been two months since he shot the junkie (which is NOT a euphemism for masturbation), the long-awaited break-up finally occurs. Farewell, EMT Eddie. You were no Little White Sex Dork, but I liked you just the same.
Formaldehyde Fortress. Ruth is toasting waffles and telling Claire that she can't go to stay at Aunt Sarah's house for the weekend. Claire protests, and Mom is forced to remind her of "what was done to Nate" when he went to stay there. Claire quite correctly points out that nothing was "done" to Nate, and adds, "In case you haven't hung out with any fifteen year-old guys lately, they're like total hornswagglers." Which is precisely why she should be hanging out with a twenty-eight-year-old man such as myself. We're only partial hornswagglers. Ruth, however, just can't let it go. "It was a much more innocent time," she says. "What, the eighties?" answers Claire. Heh. After some more reasons from Ruth why Claire shouldn't be allowed to go (including the fact that David "cut his ear on a bramble" while hiking at night in the canyon), Claire finally decides to stand up to her mother. She constructobabbles about scaffolding for several minutes (to which even Ruth rolls her eyes), and then declares that she's heading out to Aunt Sarah's after school, and there's nothing Mom can do to stop her. As she leaves, we see Ruth looking exasperated at the kitchen table, and I realize that unlike Apple, Corona, and Astroglide, Aunt Jemima must not be a paying sponsor, as the label on the syrup bottle is purposely facing away from us.