Six Feet Under
Back To The Garden

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Aaron: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Dead Man's Hand

Das Zargzimmer. This week's Widow DJ is telling her story to Nate and David, who for some reason are each sitting in the other's usual chair. The Widow has also brought her (female) rabbi along for the session, and all I can say to that is hubba, hubba, hubba. How come rabbis never looked like that when I was getting Bar Mitzvahed? After establishing that Fisher & Sons has handled Jewish funerals in the past, and reminding us all that Talmudic law requires the DGDJ to be buried within twenty-four hours, the Widow provides us with this description of his untimely death: "My husband, Jeffrey Shapiro, who worked for the third-best law firm in LA, and was three months away from making partner, came home on his lunch break and he hung himself with his pants around his ankles in our goddamn sunroom. There's your fucking eulogy. Can you say that in Hebrew?" Actually yes, I can. It's "Gimlas michbash." Who says these recaps aren't educational? (Also, everyone thank Rachael the Bible Scholar for that one).

Across town, Brenda and her mother are having lunch at a sushi restaurant. Zhora is going on and on about how much she loves her new condo and the fact that it has a bidet. She's thrilled to be finally on her own again, now that she and Papa Chenowith are getting divorced. Raising her cup of sake, she toasts to "living alone," and Brenda replies with a toast to bidets. Oh, how very Brenda. Zhora apologizes for all the nasty things she said in the stakeout episode, and then makes Brenda apologize for hitting her afterwards. She also explains that "the whore of Tranquility Spa" has moved in with Papa Chenowith, even though Zhora can't for the life of her understand why. "What's in it for her?" she wonders. "Money? I know she's not in it for sex. God knows your father's not what he used to be, not after three years of Paxil." Ew. Zhora switches the subject to Brenda's life, and her daughter finally decides to let slip that she and Nate are getting married. The reaction is predictable: Zhora cracks up laughing, and asks if Brenda is sure that Nate is smart enough for her. Because, you know, Brenda is a genius. Or something. Has Brenda ever once shown any signs of hyper-intelligence? No really, I'm serious. They've been harping on this for two seasons now, and I still just don't buy it. I mean, it's not like I want to see her solving complex differential equations while working as a janitor or dating Jennifer Connelly or anything, but the time-honored screenwriters tradition of "show, don't tell" is certainly taking a beating on this one. Hell, we get more shots of Nate's brain in a single episode than we've had of Brenda's all year. Anyway, Zhora's not one to lightly dismiss the charms of an "uncomplicated" man, but she also says that the only reason she stayed with Papa C as long as she did was that she knew he was much smarter than her. "That's why it's still so hot with us, all these years later." Ew. And also, yeah! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: smart is sexy. Which is why I don't like Brenda. Finally proving that annoying behavior is clearly genetic, the two women end the scene by trading insults and cackling loud enough to disturb all the other patrons in the restaurant.

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Six Feet Under

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