Six Feet Under
Brotherhood

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Gustave: B- | Grade It Now!
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I love a man in uniform

Church of the Poison Mind. A bunch of church people are having a meeting. Father Jack (Friar Prissy) exposits that they’re looking for a new priest. Apparently the search committee is split evenly over a candidate, and David has the deciding vote. Yeah, that always happens, doesn’t it? You join a church one day, and the next day you’re making really important decisions for them. Oh, and churches are always run democratically like that. The group wants to vote immediately, but David, who is being all Brandon on 90210 for some reason, says that he wants to meet with the candidate himself and make an "informed opinion." "Is this the way it works, Jack?" a crusty old church trustee asks Friar Prissy. "You bring in the new generation deacon and the deacon brings in the radical new priest you want?" Friar Prissy crosses his arms and cocks his head to the side. David assures Crusty Church Trustee that there’s no "agenda." Progressive Church Lady gets into it with Crusty. Wow, there’s a power struggle at a local church. And David is in the middle of it. How fascinating. I guess we’re not going to be seeing much gay sex this week.

And speaking of Gay Sex, as in the opposite of Straight Sex, Brenda and Nate are having some of the latter in Brenda’s bedroom. But I guess they’re making the privacy tolerable by having the bedroom door lie wide open so that conceivably anyone could walk in. Billy walks in. Oh, good. For a moment I thought they’d actually have to share a special moment with no one but themselves. Brenda finally notices him. I think she always looks over her shoulder when she’s having sex. You know, to check the lighting and make sure that the batteries in the video camera haven’t run out. She jumps up and yells at Billy for not calling before he came over. Yeah, Billy, you missed the foreplay and that nifty thing they were doing with ice cubes and a Dustbuster. You better thank your lucky stars they taped it for you. Billy takes it in stride and refuses to leave the room, explaining that he left his cell phone at home and was out biking down the boardwalk. "Oh, Bren," says Billy. "I got some amazing shots of some hookers on Sunset I want to show you." Oh yeah, hooker pictures. You know how just about every high school student who gets a Nikon and gets it into their heads to be an important photographer will go photograph hookers. Or, if they’re not that edgy, they might settle for homeless people. I swear to God. These local photography contests? The grand prize always goes to goes to a picture of a homeless woman sleeping on a subway grate in front of some really vulgar symbol of capitalism like a pricey jewelry store, and the first runner-up is always some grainy black-and-white hooker picture. "I think they’re really good," says Billy, swaggering out of the room. Nate and Brenda heave a sigh of frustration and relief. "Well," says Brenda by way of explanation. "Your mom walked in on us once. I guess we’re even." Um, actually, Brenda, Nate’s mom walked in on you guys because you were getting some south-of-the-border loving in her living room. It’s not exactly the same thing. Oh, and I just wanted to point out that I really like Brenda’s sheets. And her Noguchi Pendant Lamp from www.dwr.com.

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Six Feet Under

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