Nate enters the Body Shop with Private Young Bottom’s body, and gets bitched at by Rico about the fact that Rico has to cover for him this weekend. Nate tells him to calm down, and hypothesizes that there most likely won’t be that much work this weekend. Rico disagrees, and makes a remark about how the business will never be known as "Fisher & Sons & Diaz." They wheel Private Young Bottom over to Rico’s table. Nate tells him it’s just a direct cremation, no embalming. Rico whines that they shouldn’t just "burn people like they’re garbage" and pulls off the sheet. Attached to the corpse of Private Young Bottom are his medals and a bunch of files. Nate pores through the files -- one of them has garbage stuck to it -- and discovers Private Young Bottom’s application for burial at the National Cemetery. They realize that PYB didn’t want to be cremated. Rico vows to make him look just like the picture of him when he was a twenty-something private.
Claire is in her guidance counselor’s office. I guess they pulled her in for an intervention because of her dismissive attitude about math. Jeez, this school must have quite a well-adjusted student body if the guidance counselors are considering Claire troubled for trying the "I will never use algebra" excuse. The actor, who played Nurse Dan on Popular, is her cute and compassionate guidance counselor…except for the cute part. He warns her that she needs math for college. Claire rages at him about being shoved through a system that encourages one to "go to a good college and get a job so you can be a good consumer until you drop dead of exhaustion." Um, Claire? Do you have a better idea for your adulthood? Or do those forty-year-olds who still live at home and work at the 7-11 have a more enlightened approach to life? "I just want something to matter!" she declares. Poor Man’s Palladino recommends the "Sierra Crossroads Program" to her. Which I guess is some self-awareness experience in the same vein as Outward Bound. "I want to see good things happen for you, and I know you can," says Poor Man’s Palladino. Yeah, that’s right. Drop her off in the woods somewhere far away so we don’t have to hear her whine anymore. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Nate goes back to the VA hospital where Private Young Bottom was a patient. Because as stressed out as Nate is, he can still find time to stick his nose into the life of a dead person who he doesn’t even know, so he can supercede the wishes of the dead guy’s closest relation. Some slightly queeny orderly that knew Private Young Bottom gives all the exposition you’ll ever need about this dumb plotline. Apparently, Private Young Bottom loved the army and wanted a military burial. Slightly Queeny Orderly found a doctor who’d declare Private Young Bottom a war-related death and filled out the proper forms. He was the one who fished the documents out of the trash and taped them and his medals to PYB’s body, in the hopes that the undertakers who got him would defy his brother and carry out his wishes. You see, Private Young Bottom couldn’t bear to tell his brother that he loved the army…for some reason. "Victor wanted to believe that what he did in the Gulf meant something, that his life was not a waste," says Slightly Queeny Orderly. Hey, didn’t Claire just say she needed meaning in her life too? Why don’t we ship her off to some toxic war zone? Nate gets that look that indicates that he’s going to "do the right thing."