Six Feet Under

Episode Report Card
Gustave: B- | Grade It Now!
I love a man in uniform

Later, in the kitchen, David does dishes. When Nate enters with plates from the table, David tells him that he sent Private Young Bottom to the crematorium. Nate explains that PYB wanted a military burial. David tells Nate that Kovitch could sue them for disobeying his wishes. Nate tells David about the military death benefits. David’s ears perk up, but Brenda enters to say goodbye before they can discuss it any further. Nate walks her out and almost refuses Brenda’s request to come over for non-public sex.

Ed Begley and Morticia Ingalls cuddle on the Pier One Imports bamboo couch in the sun room and discuss how the evening went. "I don’t understand why I was so nervous," says Morticia. "I gave birth to all of them." She puts her head on his lap and tells him she would have liked him to have known her husband. Begley looks confused. As am I. I just hope it’s not a three-way fantasy. I've seen enough offbeat sexual situations for one week.

And yet it’s already time to make room for one more. When Brenda and Nate arrive at Brenda’s, there’s a gift basket from Billy addressed to both of them. Do I even need to tell you that there’s a dildo inside? And other tacky products from Spencer Gifts? Nate thinks this is a bit scary. Understandably. Brenda assures Nate that the dildo is a sign that Billy likes Nate. "There were other guys that Billy didn’t like," says Brenda. "Believe me, it’s better this way." She goes onto explain that Billy is bipolar and doesn’t have a normal sense of what’s appropriate. Nate asks about the matching tattoos. Brenda explains it away as something they did while drunk in Vegas.

Back home, David is alone in his room, unwinding for the evening. He brushes his teeth and tongue, hangs up his suit carefully, pours himself a glass of milk, grabs himself a hand towel, and sits down to pleasure himself to a gay porn film. And guess what? It’s a porn film about an army private being "disciplined" by two senior officers. When I first saw this episode and it got to this point, I thought this Gulf War plot was going to take a strange and wonderful turn, with David discovering that Private Young Bottom made porn films, and that’s why he kept watching that tape of him and his buddies over and over again and his brother didn’t want him to have a real military burial…or something. But I’m sad to say that any connection between David’s army porn and Private Young Bottom’s home videos is purely metaphorical. I would also like to know why David would drink milk after he brushed his teeth so carefully if he’s that detail-oriented. Anyway, before David can, um, drink his milk, so to speak, his phone rings. It’s the crusty old church trustee, asking him not to vote for Father RadiKal at the election tomorrow. "Let me ask you a question," says COCT. "Do you think Father RadiKal is gay?" David mentions his dead wife. "I mean, I don’t care if he is," says COCT. "I just don’t want him pushing that agenda." The scene ends with a close-up of the paused porn tape, in which the young private’s face is pushed up against the crotch of one of the senior officers while the other senior officer brandishes a night stick. Hmmmm. Could this be a metaphor?

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Six Feet Under




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