Six Feet Under
Coming And Going

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Large And In Sarge

Hello, Sarge. He comes in, throws his jacket on the couch, starts thumbing through the mail, and tells David, "This time I get you all to myself." I don't like this guy at all. He plops himself down on the couch and pulls out a Ziploc bag which can only be filled with one thing. Nutter Butter Coo -- "Weed?" the Sarge asks. I'm sorry. Is it "Sarge" or "The Sarge"? David steps away from the door at the sounds of drugs and responds, "God, yes." Well, they do say crack is the gateway drug to pot, Mary Jane, and even marijuana. Sarge rolls and puffs, turning to David and asks him what he's still doing by the door. Hopefully, not planning a panic attack, because...enough. David retires to the couch and kisses a boy, whereas...

...Claire rolls over on her bed and kisses a girl. And not that effectively, either. Her hands lie limply at her side while Mena Suvari crawls around peering into every orifice for an erogenous zone. With men it's easier. The Sarge found one right away. It's called "David's house." Eventually, Mena Suvari backs off, asking, "Are you feeling anything resembling excitement right now?" Claire asks if she's doing something wrong, and Mena Suvari tells her, "There's just so much more we could be doing." But it requires chainsaws, and those can be very expensive to rent. Mena Suvari suggests, "Let's make it like a dance," which is the cheesiest sex-suggesting dance cue since, "You want to see Lambada? I show you Lambada." And that song was better than this one, too. Sorry, but it was. Claire flips Mena Suvari off of her and tells her she doesn't think it's working, and when Mena Suvari gets all put off, Claire tells her, "You really want to get off, huh?" Mena Suvari says that she wouldn't mind it, and Claire teases, "Go ahead. I want to watch." Mena Suvari responds, "All right, yeah. Watch me. I'll cum for you."

David and Sarge similarly enjoy some hard-earned naked time. Nathaniel goes to speak with God about having another bus drive into him at some point.

Joe comes home to find Brenda asleep on the couch. He shuts the door quietly and wakes her up anyway, and she tells him, "I was waiting up for you." Because she is a Good Person and that's what Good People do. Joe doesn't seem too into that notion just yet, answering her questions with one-word answers. And once, mysteriously, by just saying, "Ooom-pah, ooom-pah." Oh, you heteros. You can't figure anything out for yourselves. He sits on a chair across from her and asks what she did today, and since she lied once, she can tell the truth now: "I went to Travel Town...Nate took his daughter and I tagged along." This would be a really opportune time for Joe to start figuring some shit out, but, well, see above disclaimer about the heteros. He moves to the couch and asks if she rode the trains, and when she replies, "Four times," I don't think they're talking about the same thing at all. He asks if she's "tuckered out," and she leans in for a chaste kiss and a chaster hug, which is nowhere near the immediate shot of David totally riding Sarge in the sweatiest "this show contains brief nudity" lie ever. I was really glad I wasn't watching it with my mom, but even knowing my mom was watching it somewhere was a bit too much.

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Six Feet Under

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