Six Feet Under
Coming And Going

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Large And In Sarge

Ruth prepares what looks like a pot roast as George enters the kitchen and announces, "I'm going out for a couple of hours." She bites her tongue until he's almost out the door, and then decides fuck-all and loses it completely: "All you do is come and go!" He reenters the kitchen and decides he'll hear more, and she vamps on by telling him that "marriage is not a gas station, George. You can't just pull in and fill up whenever you remember you have a wife." George holds his ground, calling the charge "unfair and inaccurate." And metaphorically unsound. And almost entirely nonsensical. He tells her he's treated her as a partner and a friend, making the mistake of adding, "If that's not marriage, I don't know what is." If you ever find yourself on the cusp of saying that? Look around and make sure you haven't been married seven times. He completely turns it around on Ruth, asking, "What about your own life? Why do I have to be the center of everything for you?" He asks why she has to hound him about every detail of his life, and she responds, "When I don't, there's shit on my doorstep." Fairly well-reasoned argument there. Maybe she shouldn't have continued: "Sarah was wrong. You're not like Nathaniel. You're worse!" George looks genuinely hurt, and tells her, "You're smothering me." She tells him that's bullshit and that he hasn't changed at all. He deals the blow: "Well, don't say I didn't warn you," and she asks if he's threatening divorce. "I'm your seventh spouse, George. How much warning do you think I need?" Coupla more wives wouldn't have hurt, it seems like.

"You jumped on him?" Claire asks David in the coach house because she's the dead couple in Beetlejuice and if she leaves the house, well, you know how aggressive sandworms can be. Walking around the place collecting the votives and carrying them to the trash, Claire asks for more details and David recounts the fact that Sarge sat on him. But not when they were fighting, wakka wakka. Claire doesn't mind this conversation because it's filled with creamy nougat segues that allow her to talk about herself: "Last night, I had a humiliating homosexual experience of my own." David asks what happened, and Claire tells him, "I couldn't even go down on her," which causes David to reply, "You can stop right there" because gay men hate pussy and that's why they're gay. The end. She bemoans the fact that "it would be so much easier to be gay," noting, at least, "I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs." David rightfully points out, "They're all unfamiliar unless they're yours." And sometimes even then! Did I say that out loud?

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Six Feet Under

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