Six Feet Under
Driving Mr. Mossback

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Across town, Keith is stuck at a crime scene. He's on the phone with Eddie, desperately begging him to pick up Taylor after school. Eddie can't do it, however, and Angry Keith quickly hangs up on him. Incidentally, I've seen the guy who plays Keith's partner here somewhere before, but my mom's ridiculously ancient 14.4 modem isn't letting me get onto the IMDb to find out where. Anyway, we now cut to David, who's down in the Body Shop shaving a corpse. It's worth noting here that Rico is nowhere to be found, even though it's ostensibly the middle of the afternoon. Remember that later. Unlike Eddie, David would be delighted to help Keith out, and he agrees to pick up Taylor and keep her at the Fortress until Keith is able to come get her.

You know, I made a few jokes earlier in the recap about having to eat Matzoh for the next week, but after the food close-up we get here, unleavened bread is starting to look pretty damn tasty. Claire is playing with whatever that thing on her plate is, and Lisa explains that it's "tofu meatloaf. It's completely vegan. No dairy, no eggs, no animal products of any kind." "Then why do you call it meatloaf?" asks Claire. Heh. Even Lisa is amused, saying that Claire is a "pisser" just like her brother. Considering where that tofu meatloaf eventually ends up, that's truer than Lisa probably realizes. Next Lisa asks if she put in too much garlic, but everyone says no. "Garlic is a miracle herb," she announces. "It helps lower cholesterol and blood pressure, it stimulates the immune system, and it inhibits the growth of parasites in the intestines." Gee, all that and it kills vampires, too. That is impressive. Of course, we all know it's not Alan Ball's favorite miracle herb, but that's a different story. Now she and Nate do some catching up. Lisa isn't surprised to hear that Nate is a funeral director, because she always knew he had a "spiritual calling." She is, however, surprised (and somewhat saddened) to learn that he and Brenda are still together after eight months (seven -- not that we're counting). "It sounds like a real relationship to me," she says. "It is what it is," replies a cautious Nate, who can't even bring himself to agree with her assessment that "it's all good." "It's all...mostly good," he says, before Lisa adds that she recently got a job offer in L.A. that she's considering. Apparently, some big-time movie producer was in town for a shoot, and was looking for a vegan chef. "What movie?" asks Claire, but Lisa doesn't know. She doesn't go to the movies because film is made from gelatin, which comes from horses' hooves. I wonder if Bill Cosby knows about this, because Claire certainly didn't. "Most people don't," answers Lisa. "Hence the global slavery of animals." Yeah! Four legs good! Two legs bad! The revolution will not be televised! There's some more discussion, but Claire excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Once there, she finds a carved wooden sign above the toilet which reads, "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." Seeking to obey, Claire unwraps her tofu meatloaf from a napkin, and flushes it away.

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Six Feet Under

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