Six Feet Under
Driving Mr. Mossback

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At the Brotherfucking Boudoir, Brenda is massaging a female client, who is quite impressed with her abilities. "I think you drained my sinuses," she moans, barely even able to move. Brenda, however, is all over the place, feeling particularly chatty. She asks what the client does for a living, since she was unusually stress-free. "I'm a prostitute," replies the still supine client, and Brenda thinks that's pretty cool. So cool, in fact that she offers to make tea so the client can stay, and then goes so far as to follow her right to the door to say goodbye. Clearly feeling her lesbian alarms going off, the client hightails it out of there. Just as the door closes, Brenda gets a phone call from her mom, who demands that she come meet her at some place called the Tranquility Spa.

Cut to the spa itself, and just as Brenda arrives and walks up to the door, Mrs. Chenowith pops out of the bushes and grabs her. Zhora (and for the benefit of second-season newbies, that's a reference to Joanna Cassidy's role in Blade Runner) practically drags Brenda over to a black Mercedes that apparently belongs to Mr. Chenowith. "Look on the dashboard," she yells, and Brenda spots a pack of Virginia Slims lying in plain sight. There's also a yellow scrunchie on the gearshift, so it's pretty clear what's going on here. Personally, if I were Mrs. Chenowith, I'd be more worried about the WIDE OPEN WINDOW on their VERY EXPENSIVE car that's parked in the middle of downtown L.A., but that's just me. Anyway, Brenda can't believe that her mom is so freaked out over the possibility that Dad is having an affair. "I thought something had happened to Billy," she says, prompting Zhora to respond (in classic SFU fashion) with, "Oh, don't be so dramatic."

Cut from mother and daughter to gay ex-boyfriend and gay ex-boyfriend's niece. David brings Taylor some milk and cookies in the Fisher den, and then explains that he has to go downstairs and work for a while. Taylor asks for some "goddamned chocolate milk," and David is forced to explain that they only have "white milk" at the Fortress. Oh, all right. Heh. Taylor keeps bitching about everything in sight, including the cookies on the plate and the coloring books David bought for her. "I thought you said you liked to draw," he asks. She does. Unfortunately, as she explains in the most patronizing tone possible, "these are COLORING books. You can't draw in COLORING books, because they already have the pictures in them. You can only COLOR in coloring books. That's why they're called COLORING books." Man, what a brat. She and Angry Keith deserve each other. David finally caves, asking, "You want to watch TV?" Taylor jumps at that one, and he hands her the remote. "Do you know how to use that?" he asks, and Taylor replies with the best line of the night: "Bitch, I know how to use a remote." David leaves, and Taylor calls him a "dumb-ass cracker" under her breath.

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Six Feet Under

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