Six Feet Under
Driving Mr. Mossback

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Things To Do In Seattle When You're Dead

Back in Seattle, Claire is hungry for "something that walked the earth." Although, given that they're eating at a restaurant called Chubby's, perhaps she should be careful what she wishes for. Nate is hungry as well, since he lied about liking the tofu to spare Lisa's feelings. He also claims that's why he "lied" and said his relationship with Brenda "is what it is." "Oh, you definitely slept with her," says Claire, and Nate finally admits that they did have occasional "friend sex." Claire, however, prefers the term "fuck-buddies." Nate says he was always honest with Lisa about what the sex meant, and that she knew they were never going to get together. While Claire continues on about how much Lisa is clearly in love with him, Nate starts to complain about smelling rotten eggs. Then he gets déjà vu, and generally looks very confused for a few moments. When they pull up to the drive-thru window, he tries to order a "Chubby Cheese with everything and some medium skinny fries," but instead it comes out as:

Nate: Yeah, I'll have a double-doub -- um, uh, a chubby, a double chubby, a chubby chubby, a double double, a double chubby, a chubby chubby, a chub...I'll have a double. I'll have a double chubble chubby cheeseburger.

Yeah. It's better when he says it. Anyway, he grabs his forehead, jumps out of the car, and starts speeyacking all over the pavement. You should all know, by the way, that I have some serious issues with vomit. Which is odd, because I do it a lot. Claire, meanwhile, has gone from giggly to concerned quite quickly, especially after Nate gets back into the van long enough to tell her to drive. Then he climbs back out to make a phone call to his doctor. As he talks, I realize that with the jittery camera-work and sweeping circular pans around a guy on a cell phone, we're but a velvety purr and an Eric Balfour appearance away from this being a very rectangular episode of 24. Claire leans out of the van to watch her brother, and is forced to shush the drive-thru guy several times, which prompts him to threaten to call his manager. Nate, meanwhile, waits to hear from his doctor.

And while her boyfriend's brain is potentially exploding, Brenda is camped out in her mother's car, munching on a protein bar. Zhora watches the various women coming and going from the spa while Brenda wonders what all the fuss is about. Apparently, her parents have long had an agreement that cheating was okay, so Brenda doesn't understand why this one is any different. Mom explains that Dad broke one of the rules by not telling her about the affair first. In fact, she's not even mad that he's sleeping around -- just that he didn't tell her so she could "line up some young hottie of [her] own." See? I always knew that transparent raincoat would come in handy some day. Brenda asks if there are any other rules, and it turns out that there are several: No friends (mutual or otherwise), never in Hawaii, never in a hotel that costs more than $300 a night or less than $75, and never on holidays. Brenda: "Is one of them 'not in front of the kids'? Oh, wait. I guess not, since there was that time I watched you in the hot tub with some old guy with a hairy back." Wait a minute. Her mom is sleeping with Peter Krause, too? That seems weird. Since this is Six Feet Under, Zhora replies in the most ironically graphic terms possible: "Darling, your father was there. And there was absolutely no penetration, I can assure you of that." Ooh, trés risque, Alan.

Hey, look! Rico actually bothered to show up for work today. And guess what? He's whining about something. In fact, he's bitching about having to stay late so that David could pick up Taylor. This, despite the fact that he apparently wandered in around 1:30 in the afternoon. There's some bickering between the two, all of which can be summed up with the simple phrase, "Shut up, Rico." Here's a tip: If you've got nothing for one of your characters to do in an episode, just don't write them in. All you had to do was have David say something about Rico meeting a home inspector or something, and all this could have been avoided. It's not like there were any crucial plot points here. We've heard all this stuff before. Many, many times, in fact. Although now I feel kind of rude for snarking on the writing so much this week. Then again, this episode was written by Rick Cleveland, who really ought to be used to hearing mean things about himself on this website by now, so I guess that's okay. Suddenly, Taylor appears in the Body Shop, complaining about a stomachache (for the second week in a row. Hmmm) and wondering if the corpse David and Rico are working on is really dead. David leads her out to the stairs, and sits down beside her to explain things. The way Michael C. Hall crosses his legs here makes me giggle every single time I see it. I just thought I'd mention that. Once assured that the man in the Body Shop is, in fact, dead, Taylor wants to know if either David or Rico killed him, and why he's there. This whole conversation goes on way too long without anyone ever simply saying the words "funeral home," so I'm not going to recap it. Taylor is also worried that she's going to die someday herself, but David assures her that it won't be for a very, very long time. Then he goes on to answer all of her questions in a very compassionate and not-at-all patronizing manner. Aww. David makes a good daddy. Who knew?

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