Six Feet Under

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 6 USERS: A+
Late Nate, Jr.

Meanwhile, up in the woods, Hiram the Hairdresser's got the tent set up and the campfire going. Whatever his other faults (and we'll be seeing a few new ones later on), he's an efficient camper. He and Ruth sit on a log watching the campfire as he puts the moves on her about as smoothly as a horny teenager. Ruth pushes him away, saying, "I'd like to see life clearly. And that's the first thing that goes out the window when I get romantic." Right, because she's so stable and sensible during her celibate periods. "You're overthinking," says Hiram, which even Ruth has to realize is a barely-polite way of saying "Shut up and take your pants off." He insists that Ruth came back to him for a reason. "What reason?" Ruth asks, along with the entire viewing audience. Hiram says, "This," and starts kissing her again. He begins to unzip her jacket. Oh, ew. Back off, Begley.

Back at the hospital, the rest of the Fishers (and Maggie and Lawyer Ted, of course) are being introduced to Nate's neurosurgeon for the evening, who's being played by Michele Greene (because she was available after the Lifetime Original Movie that was shooting that week was able to secure Meredith Baxter Birney, Nancy McKeon, Markie Post, Lindsay Wagner, and/or Lisa Rinna). She announces that the CAT scan turned up a hemorrhage, and they're going to have to operate right away. David asks if it was another AVM, and Dr. Lifetime says they won't know anything until they crack open Nate's skull. "Are there any other options?" asks Lawyer Ted. Everyone looks at him. "Sometimes there are," he explains. The ER doctor insists that they have to stop the bleeding before there's more damage. Maggie: "There's damage?" Brenda: "What kind of damage?" Seems like the women in his life would be in a better position to know that than anyone. Dr. Lifetime says they don't know, but they should be prepared for "changes." Yay! Oh, wait, everyone looks sad. Boo, I guess. David again asks to see Nate, but the doctors say they have to get started right away, and introduces them to a guy who's going to show them to the surgical waiting room. The ER doc says to Maggie, "Mrs. Fisher, could you go with Derek and sign the papers?" "I'm Nate's wife," Brenda says. "Oh! I beg your pardon," the ER doc says hilariously, and uses Derek to cover his escape. They all follow Derek through the interior door.

If you're worried about all this going on while the Diazes are sleeping, don't. Vanessa's up, sitting at the kitchen table at home in her terry-cloth bathrobe. For whatever reason, she relocates to the living-room sofa and trips over some toy on the floor in the stygian gloom of the day-for-night filters. The ruckus apparently wakes Rico, who comes out asking if she's hurt. He sits down next to her, and instead of saying anything she makes an unmistakable "stay away" gesture as he sits on the couch next to her. "Fine, I give up," he sighs. Finally she breaks her long silence: "How could you say I don't love you? How could you think that?" Because he reads the recaps? "What am I supposed to think, Vanessa?" he asks. "You treat me like shit." Vanessa: "You're not supposed to love someone who cheats on you. It's stupid. It's weak. I know, because I work with these women." And they'd be so touched to hear that she thinks they're weak and stupid, I'm sure. "They get their hearts broken every Saturday night and I won't be like that. I fucking refuse…But then here I am in the same house with you…you're closer to me than my skin. That's how much you're a part of me, Rico. I can't ever stop loving you. That's why I treat you like shit." Wow, she loves him a lot. Crying, she says, "Don't you get it?" Rico pulls her into a hug and says, "Got it." Really good scene between these two. Justina Machado more than earned her status as a regular cast member. While Rico holds her, the phone rings. Stupid telemarketers!

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Six Feet Under




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