Six Feet Under
Falling Into Place

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Djb: B | Grade It Now!
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The Drowned World Tour

Uh-oh. More spooky children. It's the "break in case of plot stagnation" emergency kit too many shows rely on for increased plot spoooooookiness. Seconds after Hoyt and his twin boy band were all "come and play with us, Danny" to Claire, David notes a twelve-ish girl walking alone who he identifies as "Mikhaila," Lisa's niece-a. Oy. And all this in a world where, "Look how well it worked for them on Kingdom Hospital isn't exactly currency for creative decision-making. Tell a tale other than a cautionary one, Six Feet Under, and take the Undead Cousin Olivers back from whence they came. But first, Mikhaila asks David if they'll have to see Lisa, and he replies that they will not. "That's a relief," she tells him, looking for her own spooky undead twin so they can ask Danny is he wants to plaaaaay foreeeeeeeever.

Kitchen...of death! The three members of the ever-happy Suave-Diaz clan sit around their table, Angelica complaining about a pain in her ear. Rico is compelled to look up and show the big scarlet "A" scratched across his forehead when Vanessa suggests to Angelica that she start looking for her own place. Angelica (which Vanessa pronounces, appropriately, "an-HELL-ee-ca") naturally accuses Rico of being behind this all, but Vanessa wonders why Angelica can't just get on her own two feet. Not enough screen time to apartment-hunt? Let's keep it that way. Angelica storms off to pack, and Rico chomps a potato chip and looks awfully self-satisfied for a ten-year-old.

Claire sits alone in her bedroom and is soon to be interrupted by David, looking for somewhere to hide. He notes her regarding her portfolio and asks her what she's doing. "Trying to break my eye open," she mumbo-jumbos, further explaining...nah, who cares. Claire doesn't either, asking David if he's back together with Keith. He says he really doesn't know, but adds for the sake of dramatic static so loud it interferes with the CB radios of passing eighteen-wheelers, "I think I could be happy going back. If..." Claire finishes it for him: "Break your eye open?" Art. Has all the answers. It's why all my Art History major friends work in PR. David turns the tables, asking if she's seeing anyone. She gives her dire review of love in the aught-aughts, replying, "Everyone is an asshole who ultimately fucks you over." Don't you second-person me, Claire. I'm totally happy with the...oh, man. She's totally right. But before Mr. and Mrs. Lisa can bust in and drop another product-placement bomb, being all, "Find yourself someone today...with the help of Mapquest Personals!" the door swings open and it's the Come And Play With Us Danny Twins, who tells David, "Everybody's waiting for you in the kitchen" and "everybody's waiting for you in the dining room," respectively. David takes his leave, as Claire self-knowingly tells him, "Thanks for listening to me complain about my cushy, alienated life." David takes his leave and follows the Come And Play With Us Danny Twins back into the hallway, which is awash in blood that has poured forth from the haunted elevator, because kids are spoooooooky and an errant jawbone wasn't already creepy enough? Jeez.

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Six Feet Under

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