Six Feet Under
Familia

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Death be not proud

Upstairs, the funeral is getting underway. Nate, who's even added a boutonniere to his new clean-cut ensemble, is passing out programs while gang members chat and the family cries. The Tearful-Yet-Already-With-Another-Guy girlfriend stands beside the coffin and pins an earring to Paco's lapel. The Ghost Of Paco stands at attention, David right beside him. He stares down the new guy as they leave, and then bitches about the mariachi music. David calls over Rico, who suggests the "Ave Maria," then runs off to make the change. As the new song starts, Claire wanders in and catches the eye of a particularly bald gang member. Meanwhile, Paco's mother cries and tries her hand at casket-climbing. The rest of the family gathers around her, and in the background we (as well as Nate) see Claire leave with the Bald Guy.

Claire's Bitch, Body & Beyond Shoppe. She's down in the basement with her new buddy, who thinks the place looks like "a mad scientist lab." He doesn't get a name, by the way, but since he turns out to be a lot better than you'd expect him to be, and also because I share common affinity with every poor soul suffering from the unconscionable evil of male-pattern baldness, I'm just going to call him Cool Guy. Claire sparks up a dutchie and makes a Turkish prison joke that's nowhere near as funny as the industry-standard one in Airplane!. She asks Cool Guy if he's ever killed anyone, to which he replies that he has shot at a few people, but doesn't know if he killed them. Claire flirts by telling him that everyone thinks she burned down the house, and then offering to take Cool Guy up on his offer to come down to the 'hood and fire his gun. Despite how it may sound, "fire his gun" was not a euphemism for oral sex. "You're some kind of tough little bitch, huh?" he asks her. Claire tries to take the joint from him, but he grabs her hand and squeezes. "You didn't hear your road-dog calling for help on your machine," he says, staring straight into her eyes. "You ain't going to spend the rest of your goddamn life wondering why you didn't pick up the phone the first fucking time it rang." See, I told you that would be important. He finishes with, "You don't know shit, little girl," before tossing the joint and walking out. Claire clutches her wrist and looks like she just got hit by a truck.

Back upstairs, one of Paco's gang-mates is showing David his tattoos, including one that runs right across the six-pack on his stomach. David admires the view for a moment until he catches Paco shaking his head. At this point, The Annoying Girl from the pilot episode (whom Wing was kind enough to identify, but whom I still don't care enough about to go back and see who she was again) shows up. She claims to have read about Paco's death in the LA Times, and "just had to pay [her] respects. It's heartbreaking," she whines. "The riots, I mean 'the uprising,' was supposed to increase the peace, but all we have are more dead children." If you look closely, you can see Alan Ball behind her, being all, "Ooh! Look at me! Isn't that clever? Aren't I insightful? The episode is all about prejudice, so I made the characters into stereotypes. Get it? See, the gay people are all oppressed, the Latinos are all noble and wise, and the white people are just stupid! Isn't that the most trenchant social commentary you've ever heard? Hey, look, there's Malcolm X! Ha ha, made you look. Anyway, you guys can just put the Nobel Peace Prize over on the mantel." When David learns that Annoying Girl didn't know the deceased, he quickly hustles her out the door. She flirts a bit on the way out, making us all think it's David she's after, but once the door closes, she opens the paper to the obituaries section and selects another funeral. Uh, okay. Whatever.

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Six Feet Under

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