Brenda sits at a table in a small room on the shiny, reflective side of a one-way mirror. I'm sorry. That's as well as I can describe it. It's like the room on a cop show where the officer enters all self-righteously and slams a gun down on the table in front of the perp and is all, "We found this under the front seat of your car!" And then he throws down a bag of white powder and adds, "And this!" The he walks slowly around the table with his arms tightly folded across his chest, and he lowers his voice a little and adds, "Now, Mr. Innocent, perhaps you'd like to give us a new alibi for where you were on Thursday night!" If that kid keeps up the hard work, he's gonna make lieutenant one day!
Brenda sits across the table from a nervous-looking man who grabs the arms of his chair and explains, "It's not like I have to cross a bridge every day. I never have to cross bridges. But I think about crossing them constantly." Brenda asks the gentleman if he's speaking metaphorically, and he tells her, "No, I'm talking about literal bridges." I sure hope this is their first session. She asks him if anything bad has ever happened to him or anyone he knows on a bridge, and he laughs and tells her, "They collapse all the time. If you Google 'bridge collapses,' you get, like, a thousand hits." You get exactly 6,050 hits. And if you Google "struck by lightning," you get 121,000. "Eaten by a bear" yields 2,210. "Smoking-related illness" nets only 6,750, and "died laughing" will give you 15,900. I'm just saying Google searches might not be the most reliable barometer of life and death. It wouldn't benefit insurance companies to come up with their premiums this way, is all. But don't even make me tell you how many hits you get when you enter "woman drivers." Don't check now. Keep your eyes on the road!