Six Feet Under
Grinding The Corn

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Djb: C+ | Grade It Now!
Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Some weird dude I don't think we've ever seen before is talking on the phone, pitching a movie about William Howard Taft, while another guy smokes pot on the couch. This is a scenario that only the presence of Brenda could tie together. And there she is. Brenda is there to buy weed, so when the gentleman goes to retrieve it for her, the dude on the couch silently offers Brenda the bong. She takes a huge hit and exhales because if she didn't she wouldn't smell anything lot pot later.

David arrives home to find Keith on the couch, watching basketball, eating pizza, drinking a beer, and thinking, "Ew, cock." David asks all angrily, "We don't eat dinner together anymore?" Keith says that he thought David was working late and apologizes for having eaten "the last piece." He ate the whole pizza? No wonder he looks so thin. Jaw working overtime. He stands up and asks David if he can fix him something, but David snipes back, "I think I'll go to Fatburger. Alone." Dude, he offered to cook you dinner. Jeez. At least go to In-N-Out. It's where your boyfriend went with Celeste.

George, wearing a small purple finger puppet, asks Rico and Nate if they want to play some bridge. Coming off an upward inflection, Maya responds first, answering, "No." Heh. I really like that. Rico says he's going to turn in and Nate says he's going to give Maya her bath (whatever you do, Nate, just don't ask permission). But their middling, George-level hum of conversational sameness grids to a halt moments later, when they hear a crash coming from another room of the house. Even the dead are trying to run away from playing cards with George.

The three amigos enter the room with Larry's casket and note a smashed vase on the floor and a pair of Converse one-stars barely visible on someone hiding behind a curtain. Converse aren't for dorks. Trey wore Converse. Sniff. Thank you, Trey. Rico yells, "We've got a gun," and Nate almost starts laughing when he grabs his cell phone and adds, "And a phone!" Two black-clad men emerge from behind the curtain with their arms up. One is Living Lawrence, but I can't tell if the other one is Dilton. I think that it is not. They beg for their lives as George walks down to join them. As Nate turns to ask where Maya is, Living Lawrence yells, "Run for it," and the superhero music kicks up again. But as they run by George, he puts a leg out and Living Lawrence trips, and Rico brandishes a frying pan that he uses to smack the shit out of the other guy's arm. Nate leans down over Living Lawrence and asks him what the fuck he's doing there, with which Living Lawrence takes the Blue Tornado from his pocket and hands it to Nate. Don't they know how little it'll be worth now that David had his gay fingers all over it? It's dirty with the gay! Nate tells him that the dude's last wish was to be buried with it, "and that's what we're going to do." They make Living Lawrence put it back in the casket, and then tell them to hit the road. That doesn't make any sense. With four lines rewritten, the stakes could have been upped wildly, with the dead guy being the one who HAD the money AND the comic book, and telling his friend on the other end of the phone that he wouldn't lend him money or ever sell the comic book, though the poor friend had begged him to sell it to help cover his friend's debt. That way, we understood the financial stakes of these guys popping in. And the superhero leitmotif with the music and the bravery is making me assume my alter ego of Super Grating On My Last Nerve, uh, Man.

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Six Feet Under




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