Six Feet Under
Grinding The Corn

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Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Lawrence Tuttle's funeral. Dilton reads the eulogy, as David and Nate stand at the back of the room. David calls the attendees "alienated," but Nate notes, "They're a community. This is who they are." And then he starts to cry. David tells him he's acting like "a serious freak," and Nate laughs and says, "Maybe I am a serious freak. I don't know what the hell is going on with me." Then he cracks up and then he cries again. Then the laughter is taken over by Bettina and Ruth riding Mexican horses.

Wait. What the fuck did I just write?

We're back in Mexico and Bettina and Ruth are riding horses.

Rico and George fold laundry because this is totally a buddy comedy about a womanizing geologist and the down-and-out undertaker who comes to live with him. Rocks and a Hard Place, perhaps? George tells Rico that he should just move on from Vanessa, noting, "I know a lot of mammals mate for life, but most primates don't." Rico responds that he's a human being and not a primate. Why say something to George if you're not a fan of facts? Here are some now! "We share 98.8% of DNA with a chimpanzee. We're more closely related to them than they are to gorillas." Is that true? George's ear hair indicates yes. Anita enters just then and finds Rico holding a pair of her underwear, and she tells Rico, "Oh, my God. You guys folded my undies. That is so fucking sweet." With which she takes her unmentionables and leaves. Rico asks, "Is she still living here?" George responds, "Evidently."

Which is why she's not at the park. Claire, Russell, and The Matthew Barney Of LAC Arts sit around the park talking about crap. "This sucks," says Russell. "Wanna go see a movie?" "Not really." "Wanna get something to eat?" "I'm not hungry." "Yeah, me neither." Who said each of these lines? WHO CARES? They're Vulture #1, #2, and #3 from The Jungle Book. Russell suggests that they check out an art exhibit, and The Matthew Barney Of LAC Arts suggests that he just go, then. He goes, then, and once alone, The Matthew Barney Of LAC Arts tells Claire, "I heard something." Claire asks what she heard, and we learn that Mena Suvari did a piece at the coffeehouse entitled, "A Straight Girl Wanted To Eat My Pussy, But Then She Changed Her Mind." That's so in-your-face, man. Claire freaks, but The Matthew Barney Of LAC Arts assures her, "It was kinda cool." The Matthew Barney Of LAC Arts asks her if it's true that she's never had an orgasm, and tells Claire, "Most of the women that I've been with have had a hard time." Because you suck in bed? "But I heard about this, like, new technique, and I've been looking forward to trying it out. Would you like me to try it out with you?" How romantic.

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Six Feet Under

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