Six Feet Under
Grinding The Corn

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Once Upon A Time In Mexico

David asks if Lawrence had a family, and Dilton says that they were "pretty much it," and the other fat guy (can we just call him "Living Lawrence"?) further explains, "We were all in the West-Co Blue Twister Society together." Nate has heard of the comic, noting, "That's the guy who can turn into a human tornado." Dilton is clearly treading on more firm conversational ground here, sitting up in his chair and all but knocking off his own black-framed glasses that look nothing like mine, thanks, and continues on, "Or shoot smaller tornadoes from his fingertips, with the strength of an F5. That's the strongest tornado there is." Living Lawrence and Dilton animatedly bang though the mythos behind the Blue Tornado (scientist works faulty machine, nuclear power jargon gets involved, the phrase "horribly awry" gets mixed in somewhere, and there's your Blue Tornado. And, come to think of it, there's your every other comic-book trope ever as well), which inspires an impressed Nate to note, "I had no idea he had a society." Dilton unearths Issue #1 of Blue Twister, the cover of which shows the most super of heroes laying the smackdown on a swastika-clad member of the German Army. Dilton reminds Nate and David that "the last thing [Lawrence] said before the bookshelf fell on top of him is that he wanted to be buried with it." Dilton then does a little impersonation of the gurgling noise Lawrence made right before he died, to which David can only respond, "We're very sorry for your loss." I think we've all learned a valuable lesson today. Dorks are hilarious. Even when they're dead.

Bettina fields a phone call while Ruth folds laundry on the couch nearby. Ruth asks Maya if she'd like to help Ruth to fold laundry, and an overdubbed response comes from a too-far-from-the-camera- to-see-she's-not-really-talking Maya, who answers, "No." Awwwwwww! Kids and their saying of the darndest things! Bettina suggests that they "get out and do something today," and Ruth suggests the park. "You've been here for two weeks. We've been to the park almost every single day," Bettina tells her. Ruth considers Bettina for a second and asks, "We're getting on your nerves, aren't we?" Kathy Bates sighs a perfectly deadpan "Yeah," but assures Ruth, "If I wanted you to leave, you'd know it." Bettina tells her to "think big" regarding their afternoon plans, and before Ruth has the chance to suggest "What about a really big park?" Bettina charges on: "I'm tired of coming up with all the ideas in this marriage." Ruth reminds her that this is not a marriage, and Bettina says, "It's starting to feel like one." A cartoon light bulb goes ping over Ruth's head -- or at least if would have if she were the title character in the comic book Super Passive-Aggressive Wife, a.k.a. The Beige Crusader -- and she suggests, "What if I told Nate to take Maya back to day care for the next couple of days?" I would say that it means the promises everyone in that family makes about babysitting that child so that Nate can go out and have a life are a total lie. Bettina perks up at the idea, so Ruth continues, "George is always talking about his travels. I thought we'd have adventures together, but so far he hasn't taken me anywhere." He took you to the fossils and you blew it, lady. And you took him to a seedy hotel room to have a contract-violating, cappuccino-drenched meeting with his poo-slinging son, which wasn't exactly in the latest AAA guide to America's hottest tourist destinations. Ruth clarifies, "Let's go on a road trip." Rooooooooad triiiiiiiiiiip! I can't hear those two words without hearing immediately after a loud splashing sound, followed by the sound of teenagers making a sound like this one: "Woooooooo!" Knowing what we know about Kathy Bates and her lack of decorum in hot tubs, I fear that the impending road trip will have way too much of the first element and way too little of the second.

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