Upstairs in The Sun Room Of Dramatic Life Revelations, Sarah is perusing a Fisher family photo album when Claire walks in. Aunt Sarah immediately jumps up, introduces herself, and announces that "the Goddess is clearly manifesting through you. It's very obvious." I'll say. "Thanks," replies Claire. "I thought you were dead." Heh. Sarah shrugs that one off, and continues with the compliments. "Oh, this skin," she sighs. "Like milk. Treasure it while it lasts." Oh, I do. Believe me, I do. Ruth enters now, and Sarah playfully asks why she told her only daughter that her only aunt was dead. Claire clarifies that the dead thing was merely an assumption based on the way Mommie Drearest used to talk about her sister, and Sarah gleefully remarks that she's made a miraculous recovery. Then she starts touching Claire's face again. I'm not sure whether to be jealous or creeped out at this point, but Claire has clearly opted to go with creeped out. Incidentally, and I know I'm going to take a lot of flak for pointing this out, but Lauren Ambrose's breasts seem unusually large in this scene for some reason. No, really. They do. Check your VCR. And, no, I wasn't staring. Really. I swear.
Stop looking at me like that.
Legless Grandmother: Oh Claire, let me take a look at you. Hey, she's gotten her boobies!
Unnamed Grandfather: I better get my magnifying glass! Ha ha ha.
Legless Grandmother: Oh, and they are so PERKY!
Aaron: Yeah. Forgive me, Lauren.
Cut to Claire's room, where Aunt Sarah is reviewing a bunch of paintings that I don't think we've ever really seen before. One of them is a pretty decent self-portrait of a flaming redhead amongst a sea of black and gray handprints, and Sarah describes it as showing "anger and yearning. Passion, resentment of the status quo, and some jealousy of it as well. Not the most original perspective, but it's authentic." Thanks, Aunt Meta. Then she notices a white plastic heart decorated with dead roses, and she really likes that one. She deconstructs it at length, only to be told by Claire that she found it in the garbage after a funeral and kept it because she thought it looked cool. "You're an artist, Claire," announces Sarah, primarily to inform us about Claire's new character quirk, since the only evidence we've seen of it so far was an off-hand comment about comic strips back in Season One. She hippie-babbles some more about Claire's great artistic potential and how she "sees through the veil," and then flops down on the bed and suggests that Claire put something red and "bordello-y" in her "relationship corner." Apparently, Claire has been "resisting the carnal" because Ruth has been rubbing off on her. You know, if she's interested, I'd be more than happy to help out in that department. I'm just saying. Sarah also wants her to put a plant in her "knowledge corner," and at this point I'm frankly surprised that she hasn't suggested Claire add some happy little trees and a few fluffy clouds to her paintings. Claire laughs off all the feng shui stuff (and I'm just ignoring it, because that's really more Gustave's department than mine), but Sarah isn't having it. "You can drop the generic apathy crap. That's just laziness. You're more than that, and you know it." Claire seems shaken by this brilliant insight into her soul, but I can't really focus on it because Patricia Clarkson is playing with her crotch again.