Lazarus: I'll say.
Alan Ball: Heh. So, did you miss me?
Lazarus: Eh. Not really. I've learned to tolerate boredom pretty well.
Alan Ball: Yeah, I guess you'd have to.
Lazarus: Actually, it's pretty easy. It's all about keeping your mind totally blank.
Alan Ball: Hmm. I'll have to try that. Whenever I'm bored I usually just end up pouring myself a glass of wine, slipping in a DVD, and sitting back to polish my Oscar and my Golden Globes for a while.
Lazarus: Ew. Now that's just wrong on soooo many levels.
Alan Ball: Sorry.
Lazarus: Un-huh. Sure you are. You know, I always used to laugh when people used the phrase "better off dead," but now I'm not so sure.
Alan Ball: Yeah. Okay, see, this is where I would ordinarily tell you to "Get out. Now," but instead I think this time I'll try "Go that way really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."
As we fade up from The Ironically White Title Card Of Death, we quickly learn that this season isn't going to be all that different from the last one. Our opening image, of course, is Nate and Brenda having sex in front of an open window. Ah, you crazy kids with your exhibitionist tendencies. Oh, how I've missed you. Only this time, Brenda stops him, because "it just isn't going to happen for [her]." Suddenly I'm consumed with the fear that Lauren Ambrose's legal team has me under surveillance and is reporting the results back to Alan Ball. Because this sort of thing happens to me all the time. I guess I must be doing it wrong. An always-ready-to-please Nate quickly dives under the covers to give Brenda some mouth-to-uh, whatever resuscitation, but even that doesn't seem to be doing the trick. Finally he gives up, and curls up next to her for a long interlude of psychobabble. Brenda gives him a whole "this is not my beautiful life" speech about how if her life was a movie, it would be too boring to watch. Is that some sort of slam on the Golden Globe voters? Nate casually suggests that Brenda might be a wee bit depressed (albeit without actually using the dreaded "D" word), and Brenda wistfully agrees that she probably is. Aww. Nate loves his deeply disturbed girlfriend. How sweet.
Formaldehyde Fortress. Rico has brought in the boyfriend of Li'l Miss Slash 'n' Sniff (tm K-Town Girl) as a client, largely because his sister-in-law was in the movie with her. The boyfriend (Brodie, a.k.a. Shawn Hatosy) reports that LMSnS had no next kin, because her "she was raised by her grandmother, who also died," and then Rico's sister-in-law adds that the cast of the movie will be paying for the funeral. Only they want the cheapest service possible. Rico, flush with the opportunity to impress his boss, cheerfully points out that Fisher & Sons offers a "variety of services for the more budget-conscious client." I guess that means he'll fix up her breasts with generic cat food, instead of the Fancy Feast kind. Just then, David's cell phone rings, and Rico makes a point of telling him to take it, because he wants to handle the sale himself.