And so David does. Turns out the call is from "Kevin," a fireman whose personal ad David has answered. He's thrilled to be hearing from him, and even more thrilled to be setting a date for that afternoon. He's so thrilled, in fact, that when Kevin tells him to look for a guy in a red baseball cap, David replies, "Great! I love red! It's one of my favorite colors…of which I have many." Rolling his eyes at his own stupidity, David quickly ends the call and looks embarrassed. He really shouldn't worry, though. In fact, if the forums are any indication, red is everyone's else favorite color for him as well.
Meanwhile, back in Das Sargzimmer, Rico is trying to display his salesmanship skills. Unfortunately, he's stymied at every turn. Brodie doesn't want to bury LMSnS, because she was afraid of the dark, and the sister-in-law wants to skip the casket altogether and just have her cremated in a cardboard box. Not willing to give up so easily, Rico attempts to foist upon them a "beautiful and unusual cremains vessel" (hee!) that's filled with ashes and Lucite dolphins. "[LMSnS] wasn't really into dolphins," replies Brodie. "I remember, somebody suggesting she boycott tuna, you know, because of the whole dolphins getting caught in the net thing. And she said, 'Fuck dolphins! I want a nicoise salad.'" I giggle. Rico looks like he wants to cry. Angelica (the sister-in-law), finally spots something she's interested in: a locket they can each wear to carry around the ashes forever. So, instead of a big movie-star funeral, Rico has managed to sell nothing but a few plastic trinkets. Remember that next week when he asks to borrow money.
Cut to a beautiful beach shot, where we see the lovely Lauren Ambrose gazing out at the waves from a lifeguard stand. For a moment I was scared that I'd somehow crossed over into a bizarro episode of Baywatch, but then I remembered that Lauren just isn't that kind of girl. And that's what I like about her. She's soon joined by Gabe, who's sporting a woolen do-rag and a soul patch that's almost Krauseian in its scragliness. She immediately begins to berate him for skipping school, and Gabe gets defensive. Now do you see? She's even all bossy and protective. And you wonder why I love her. Anyway, Gabe's main point here is that he's "eighteen and living in California," so he should be allowed to skip school, get high, and go to the car museum. Claire, on the other hand, reminds him that she has good reason to be worried about him (and, to me at least, it seemed like she was referring to his suicidal OD, and not to the convenience store robbery, which she may or may not know about yet). Gabe promises to be good, and says that as long as he has her, everything will be all right. Lauren, however, just stares at the ocean, where apparently Foreshadowing is busy body-surfing with pals Metaphor and Irony.