Fade up on a church service at St. Stephens. The Hey, It's That Girl preacher from last season delivers a sermon about how God loves everyone, and then we cut to David, Keith, and Eddie at lunch in a diner somewhere. I'm sure I’ll get nasty email calling me a racist for pointing this out, but it's worth noting that, aside from a waitress, David is the only white person in the restaurant. Eddie and Keith rub their couplehood in David's face with a brief interlude about hang-gliding (don't ask), and then David has a hilarious DEK moment that features him competing (naked, except for a sash which reads "Mr. White Ass Cracker") alongside Eddie and Keith in the Mr. Gay Black America Pageant. When we return to the restaurant, Keith oh-so-casually slips in the fact that he and Eddie are moving in together, so they can get a bigger place and a dog. David is naturally dismayed.
And now we come to the only bad scene in the whole show. Brenda gives a massage to some high-powered Hollywood type, only he's so annoying that she's forced to kick him out. The scene was a lot longer than that makes it seem, but I'm sort of on a deadline here, and it wasn't very funny, so I'm skipping the bulk of it. In fact, I should probably point out that it's already 5:00 PM on Sunday, and this is as far as I've gotten. How the hell am I supposed to finish this by the time the next show airs? ["Jesus answered, 'Are there not twelve hours in the day?'" -- John 11:9] Shut up, Jesus.
Back at the Formaldehyde Fortress, Nate reaches into the cabinet to take another "aspirin." "So this is where the magic happens," voices over Gabe. Clever, Alan. Very clever. Gabe and Lauren are actually down in the Body Shop, which Gabe is seeing for the first time. He wanders around, looking in various cabinets, while Lauren explains some of the more unpleasant aspects of the undertaking industry. "They have these like, plastic screws, only bigger," she says, "that they stick into people's orifices so stuff won't spill out." Hey, that almost sounds like a scene from Queer as Folk. Gabe gets serious all of a sudden, as he realizes that this is where his little brother was embalmed. Claire apologizes for bringing him down, and then Gabe pulls her in for a long, lingering kiss. ["And Jesus wept." -- John 11:35] Lauren pulls away, looking half-nervous and half-excited. I look sick to my stomach. "You're the first guy I've ever brought home to meet my family," she confesses, and Gabe promises to be on his best behavior.