Six Feet Under
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

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Zed's Dead, Baby. Zed's Dead.

The Ghost of Christmas Past: Yep. Jimmy Hoffa's our shop steward.
Aaron: Wow. Jimmy's in heaven? I always assumed ending up in the Meadowlands was a one-way ticket to hell.
The Ghost of Christmas Past: Only for Bill Buckner.

And now it's time for the mandatory "Ew" scene of the week. Since the writers have apparently decided they've gone as far as they could go with disgusting corpse jokes (you don't hear Rico talking about baling wire and cat food cans much anymore, do you?), I guess we're now going to be treated to a disgusting Brenda sex scene in each episode. She's in a trendy store somewhere looking for clothes that are "so expensive only an idiot would buy them." She spots a handsome man perusing a rack of dresses, and notices that he's been checking her out, despite the presence of a much more attractive and less psychologically damaged extra standing right beside her. She moves over to stand next to the guy, and in the interests of making a long, disgusting scene shorter and even more disgusting, I'll just skip ahead to the part where she grabs his hand and shoves it into her crotch. There's an unfortunately extended "grinding" shot, and then they're interrupted by the saleslady, who informs Finger Boy that his wife is waiting for him in one of the dressing rooms. Once he leaves, she also formally cements her role as my new hero in life by doing the one thing I know I'll never be able to do: kicking out Brenda.

Meanwhile, over at Nikolai The Flower Guy's store (where floral prints aren't just for panties anymore!), the big bear is putting the moves on Ruth. The fact that their blocking is identical to that of Brenda and Finger Boy escapes the attention of exactly no one. "Did you not wear panties today like I asked?" he inquires in his inimitable Russian accent, and Ruth primly replies that she "most certainly did not not wear panties today...It's unhygienic." He just can't let the panty thing go, however, and asks her to describe the pair she is wearing. Be careful what you wish for, Nikolai. "They're not sexy," explains Ruth. "They're Fruit of the Loom control top briefs, and they come three to a pack for fifteen dollars at Target." I'll let the vast amount of product placement in that sentence pass without comment, because the fact of the matter is that I love Target, and not only because I just bought my new X-Box there, either. Everyone should shop at Target. Every day. And they can feel free to send me a check for saying so, should they be so inclined. There's yet more discussion of the various things Ruth could do with her panties (which leaves me with the oddly discombobulating image of Peter Krause discussing Felicity Huffman's panties stuck in my head), and then she gets all haughty and insists that Nikolai not talk that way at work. It's not until she slaps him and stalks off, however, that Nikolai lets loose with a hearty laugh. And it's about time, too. I've been laughing for the whole scene. I also think it's worth noting that only on Six Feet Under would I find myself giggling like a schoolgirl during a discussion of an old woman's panties while simultaneously being disgusted by the sight of a relatively attractive woman engaged in a public sex act. Something seems a little backwards about that.

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Six Feet Under

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