Okay, so let’s pretend for a moment that we’re all new visitors to Alan Ball World. Now, if I were to say to you that a certain character is more afraid of death than any other character, what would you expect to happen to that person? Well, in the real world, they’d probably end up as a megalomaniacal overcompensater like Bill Gates. But in Alan Ball World, we can all safely assume that a fear of death is the fastest possible ticket to having to actually deal with death on a very personal basis. I mention all this only because there’s a scene here where the doctor gives Nate the lowdown on his condition. Basically, he seems to be afflicted with a disease that manifests extremely minor physical symptoms, yet could still cause him to drop dead at any second. In other words, he’s got an inflamed plot point. Anyone experiencing similar symptoms at home should see your doctor immediately, followed by a deep, cleansing bath to wash away the thick deposits of irony that may be building up inside your skull.
Cut to Ruth driving Nate and Brenda home from the hospital and complaining that they waited an entire day to call and tell her about the accident. Nate assures her that he’s fine, and Brenda says the same from the back seat. But then Nate turns to look at her, and instead finds The Late Nate back there. "Hoo, boy! This time it’s personal," Dad says, before vanishing again. Bwah! Nate shakes it off and goes back to staring out his window.
Parker’s Party. And this time it’s personal, as Parker and her Boy Toy Du Jour are macking all statutory-rape-style in her parent’s bedroom. Now, if Parker is having sex, that must be Claire’s cue to walk in on her, and -- hey, look, there she is. Claire asks if they’ve seen Gabe before quickly ducking back out of the room, and then we cut straight to Gabe himself, as he, PT, and The Cashew Kid are preparing to pull a Beer Cow at a nearby convenience store. Because repeatedly yelling "Moo!" apparently just wasn’t enough fun for Gabe, he’s expanded the boundaries of the Beer Cow concept to include the use of firearms. Man, I remember when they tried that in the NHL, and it was a total disaster. Then again, a "Beer Cow" does sound like something Marty McSorley would do. Anyway, the actual robbery scene is hilarious, with PT and The Cashew Kid getting in a few good moos before Gabe pulls out the very gun that killed his brother. While the security camera above the register captures the entire incident, Gabe orders the clerk to empty the register before giving a final "moo" of his own and dashing out of the store.