Six Feet Under
Life's Too Short

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
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Death, dumb, and blind

Haley Joel Osment: Are you the Blue Fairy?
Ruth: Well, I don't know so much about the fairy part, but I'm definitely blue here.
Haley Joel Osment: Can you make me into a real boy?
Ruth: I don't know. The first two I made haven't really turned out all that well.

The next morning, Ruth wakes up (naked no less) in her sleeping bag. While Hiram can be heard cooking and singing outside, Ruth is delighted to discover a leaf tangled in her hair. Cut outside, and Ruth emerges fully dressed from the tent, saying that it's a beautiful morning and that Hiram should have woken her sooner. "I thought you could use the sleep after the night we had," he tells her. "You've never been that passionate with me before." Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, and also, ew. They hug, and laugh, and he compliments her sexual prowess a few more times, and I return from projectile vomiting in the bathroom just in time to see the scene end.

Formaldehyde Fortress. Anthony's funeral is underway, and almost the entire Fisher family is in attendance. Nate joins David at his usual post, and receives congratulations on his snazzy new suit. "I figured you need more than one suit to be a funeral director," he says, and David points out that you also need to pass the test. Then he admits that he also failed the test the first time he took it, but Nate doesn't believe him. "I fuck up a lot more than you might think," David says. "I fuck up a lot." Oh, don’t we all. Anyway, Gabe spots Claire and heads over to say hi. They chat, and just when he asks why she's being so nice to him, some random guy comes in and punches him right in the face. The guy turns out to be Anthony's father, and he screams at Gabe for letting the kid shoot himself while he continues to kick and punch him. Despite my visceral glee at seeing my rival for Lauren's affections being pummeled, I can't help feeling sorry for Gabe. Nate arrives and pulls Angry Dad away while Claire shouts at the guy for blaming Gabe when he hasn't even been back to see Anthony for two years.

Nate leads Angry Dad back into the comfort room, where AD asks, "Who was that little bitch out there?" "That was my sister," replies Nate. "That was my girlfriend," replies Aaron. Angry Dad rants about Gabe being a screw-up with no sense of responsibility, and then he sits down and confesses that the gun was his. He bought it for Mom when he had to leave town for a job. "Everybody dies," is Nate's sage advice. "Some of us live to be a hundred, some of us never make it through our first day. It's just a fucking fact of nature, pal…you can punch as many people as you want, it's not going to change the fact that boy is dead. And your chance to be in his life is over. Did you use that time well, or did you just piss it away?" Go Nate! Get down with your bad psychobabbling self. Angry Dad slumps down on the sofa, and thinks about his life.

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Six Feet Under

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