Over the river and through the woods to the tent cabin we go. And I'm thinking Nate and Lisa must have spent all that rent money they're saving on a new car, because they're not in the Dirty Car and I just can't believe that Lisa would ever stoop to do something as environmentally unfriendly as having a car of her own. Regardless, they lug all their various suitcases into the tent cabin (which is actually kind of nice), and Lisa immediately starts doing what she does best: worrying about where Maya is going to sleep. Nate, on the other hand, is worried about the fact that she only brought a single six-pack of beer. "Isn't that the whole point?" he asks. "To sit around the campfire and get a buzz? Didn't you tell me to bring my weed?" (POT ∞ = 1) Oy. Nate Fisher, ladies and gentlemen: Parent of the Year. "To tell you the truth," answers Lisa, "all I really care about is that you don't smoke cigarettes. I already pretend like I don't you know you smoke at home." What? Huh? Mom? How did you get on Six Feet Under? I know you didn't fly out there. This incipient argument is interrupted by the arrival of Todd, Dana, and their not-quite-as-cute-as-Taylor little girl Spencer, who cheerfully greets Nate and then never speaks again for the rest of the episode. Hugs are exchanged all around, and Todd invites Nate to help him unload the car because he brought "a ton of beer." "Yeah, absolutely," replies Nate, while fixing his wife with a knowing smile. Once separated, the two girls chat about bed selection, and the two guys discuss plans for hiking up to Suicide Rock. Todd is of the opinion that the womenfolk won't let the men go off on their own for that long, but Nate seems to think it won't be any problem. "How long have you two been married?" wonders Todd.
Back at The Fortress, Ruth knocks on Arthur's door and tells him that she rented Silent Running. Only she uses a lot more words than that, because she rambles on about some new mall she visited for about half an hour before finally getting to the point. What's up with this season's mall fetish? Arthur is delighted, of course, and they're soon settled in on the sofa munching popcorn and watching Bruce Dern teach a pair robot-shaped cardboard boxes how to plant banzai trees. To my great relief, Charlton Heston and Michael York are nowhere to be seen.
Our happy campers have settled down for the night as well, with the adults gathered around a roaring fire to discuss something called "Unitarian Universalism," which is apparently some sort of religion that doesn't actually contain any religion. "No big God things," explains Todd. "No crosses or dripping blood or shit, just people getting together." And, um, how is that any different from a TWoP-con, I wonder? Fewer banner ads, I suppose. ["And less dripping blood." -- Sars] Dana adds that Jesus is rarely mentioned at these gatherings, but whenever it does come up, "they always remind us that Jesus was black." "Right," grumps Lisa. "As opposed to the Brad Pitt Jesus America tries to sell us." What? No Jeremy Sisto joke? Come on, guys, where's your sense of meta-whimsy this week? You let Bettina direct, why not throw Billy a bone? Nate knows exactly who his own God is, however, and he quickly hops up to fetch his pot out of the tent cabin. He fires up a little one-hitter, but when he passes it along, the other three each decide not to have any. "Great," laughs Nate, as he takes another hit. "Now I'm the only one who's stoned." Oh, I'm sure Alan is right there with you, my friend.