Back to the boys. And even though they're not stoned, they're still using long, rambling sentences to describe the amorphous emotions associated with the relationships in their lives. "It's like your heart is outside your body and you can see it for the first time," says Nate. "And knowing that all of it, ALL of it, has always been about her," continues Todd. "I feel the exact same way about Maya," Nate announces. "No, I was talking about Dana," replies Todd. Heh. Whoops!
As their two young children cavort mere inches away, Dana is pontificating to Lisa about the state of her marriage. "I don't know," she says. "Our thing is just…it's incredibly hot still. He's got the dirtiest mouth. Oh, I love it!" Ew. "Yeah," answers Lisa. "I'm kind of fond of Nate's Dirty Car myself." Double-ew. Lisa begs for an example of this supposed dirty talk, but Dana tries to say that it'll sound stupid out of context. "Okay, like, 'Ooh baby, I wanna come on your tits!'" she whispers. Yeah. I'm just going to assume the context she was referring to there was a Peter North film. Suddenly Maya starts to cry, and it's not even because she's pissed off that I found her so preternaturally calm earlier in the recap. It's really because there's a snake slithering towards her across the campsite, which causes the mommies to freak out and scoop up their kids. The menfolk return just at this moment, and Nate quickly grabs a small log and starts smashing the snake into a fine reptilian paste. There's also a strange little dream sequence here where Nate sees the snake as a viper of some sort, but Lisa calls out a warning just as it hisses at him, so maybe it wasn't a dream at all. In any case, that snake is very, very dead, and the overt phallic symbolism is very, very obvious. Everyone else gives Nate the stink-eye for thrashing a harmless gopher snake, but he's too high on his bloodlust and the opportunity to swear to notice. "Fuck!" he shouts. "Goddamn it! Don't any of you fuckers want to go for a fucking hike? Come on!" (Fk = 3) Whoa. If he starts talking about snails and straight-edged razors, I am soooo out of here.
Here's how Olivier sums up the work of his students: "Mediocre. Redundant. Terrible. Blah, blah, blah." Here's how I sum up Olivier: "Smarmy. Redundant. Terrible. Blah, blah, blah." Finally he comes to Russell's backwards head statue, which he describes as "elephant art." "My head is on backwards!" he trumpets. "I feel like my head is on backwards!" He also throws in a lot of snooty, pretentious art-babble along with it, but you get the point. Claire's sculpture, however (which looks like a partially-cracked dinosaur egg), is deemed "termite art." "Termites work secretly at night," explains Olivier, "but they can tear down a house as fast as an elephant can. But they don't stomp, they infest." Oy. I can think of a few things I'd like to infest Olivier with, but unfortunately Sars has decreed that we're not allowed to make any more SARS jokes, so I'd better just keep my mouth shut.