Six Feet Under
Nobody Sleeps

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Aaron: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Who Rocks The Party That Rocks Your Body?

Das Sargzimmer. ACC is there with Nate and David to make arrangements for his partner's funeral, because he was told by members of the Gay Men's Chorus that Fisher & Diaz might "be more open to accommodating certain requests." He provides some detail on his relationship with the deceased, which lasted for twenty-two years before the DGDJ (who, like ACC, was a stage designer for the L.A. Opera) died essentially of a "bleeding heart." He also reveals for some reason that they both "fucked like bunnies" during the seventies. Everyone oddly seems to be swallowing a lot in this scene, by the way, although I'm assuming that it's unrelated to the details of ACC's sexual conquests. We then cut down to Rico in the Body Shop, where the exact nature of ACC's special request is finally revealed. He wants to turn the slumber room into an opera set for the funeral, and he's willing to pay good money to make sure that it happens. Rico isn't particularly thrilled by this idea (at least until he hears the part about the money, that is), and he takes a moment to reminisce about the one time he and Vanessa actually went to the opera themselves. "It was so completely whacked," he gushes. "There was like this magic mirror, you know, and this dead swan, and, like, a bleeding spear…" "Parsifal," interjects David, correctly identifying the performance. Which is fortunate, incidentally, because it was really starting to sound like an episode of The X-Files I saw once. "Yeah!" continues Rico. "And they had these flower chicks who were supposed to be hot, but they were, like, major wide-loads. And these lame-ass knights, they were, like, prancing around and singing at the top of their lungs." This last bit is accompanied by Rico doing a bit of prancing himself, and this apparently sets off David finely calibrated homophobia detector, because he angrily accuses Rico of not wanting to do the funeral because "it's too gay." That's not really the sense I (or anyone else in the forums) got from what Rico was saying, but whatever. "These guys were together for twenty-two years," proclaims David, as he stomps out of the room, "and we're going to show them the respect that they deserve." Rico just stands there, looking for all the world like he's wondering if anyone managed to get the license plate of the rainbow-colored truck that just hit him.

Okay, I've seen a lot of disturbing things in my recapping career, and every time a fresh new horror crops up I give a little spiel about how I've seen a lot of disturbing things in my recapping career and then announce that whatever nasty little vision I've just been a party to this time is officially the worst one ever. Well, this is officially the worst one ever. I really, really, REALLY did not need to see a topless Ruth Fisher moaning in orgasmic ecstasy on a padded massage table. Seriously, people. I love Frances Conroy like the slightly deranged, massively repressed mother that I actually already have, but she still really needs to keep her clothes on and her moans to herself. I'm begging you. Anyway, she and Kathy have gone in for a massage, and it's actually the first one Ruth has ever had in her life, because she normally doesn't like "to be touched by strangers." As her muscles loosen, however, so do her inhibitions, and she's soon confessing to Kathy about her affair with Ed Begley Jr. Hmm. Well, I guess if that's not enough to nip this incipient friendship in the bud and send Kathy screaming into the hills, nothing will be. "Way to go Fisher!" she Kathys, before revealing that she cheated herself on husband number two with his gastroenterologist. "For some reason I thought that would really hurt him," she explains. "But he just laughed at me. I will always hate him for that." Ahh, Kathy. Don't you know? That only works when the gastroenterologist is also his cousin. There's some more moaning from Ruth at this point, and then we fade to white. Or maybe that's just the afterimage of the burning pokers I just shoved into my eyes.

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