Six Feet Under
Nobody Sleeps

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Who Rocks The Party That Rocks Your Body?

Down in The Body Shop, David and Rico unwrap the DGDJ's body (StC = 963, but I'm also awarding twenty-seven bonus points to mark the length of the extended extreme close-up we get of the deceased's pierced genitalia. That's what brought the episode up to a full A). Both he and Rico are shocked to discover a giant metal ring implanted in the tip of the guy's phallus. "Now is that supposed to enhance pleasure?" asks Rico. "And for who?" "Apparently it worked for Queen Victoria," answers David. "It's called a Prince Albert. She liked him to wear tight pants. The ring was attached to a strap on his thigh, thus enabling a smooth trouser line." Heh. David would so totally kick ass on Gay Jeopardy. Rico also wants to know what the deal is with all the bodies he's seen lately where the guy has shaved his balls. David ponders his partner's newfound inquisitiveness for a moment, and then relishes the discomfort he causes by replying, "Actually, it makes them more sensitive. You know, for oral stimulation? And besides, no one likes getting pubic hair stuck in their teeth." Well, there you have it, my friends. Rico has finally been shut up. Be sure to savor the moment while it lasts. David certainly is. "Do you want to ask me if I shave my balls?" he continues. "I'm happy to tell you. I am, and I do -- shave, that is. I have to, actually. Lots of hair down there. Keith doesn't. And there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, of course. It's breathtaking, actually. Anything else you want to know?" Bwa! But really, I don't know why David is so upset about all this. I mean, Rico could have said something a whole lot worse. After all, he could have asked David if he'd ever had Prince Albert in his can. You see what I mean?

Hey, look! It's Shrug! Which is odd, because I actually hated that show, and yet he'll always be Shrug to me. Besides, I can't really reference his turn on Sex and The City, because I've already used all my good body-hair jokes on Nate. He's playing an artist who's come to guest-lecture to Claire's class, and he does so by telling a highly improbable story that involves a burnt American flag, some right-wing conservatives, and several homeless men who were apparently suffering from a severe shortage of toilet paper. Afterwards, Professor Olivier offers to introduce both Claire and Russell to him -- provided, of course, that Shrug can be torn away from the cute blonde co-ed he's been hitting on. When introductions finally are made, Shrug manages to ooze pretension from nearly every pore on that big shiny bald head of his as he instructs them to "give up now, unless [they're] willing to live as outlaws, because this is a culture where art is not just a dirty word, it's also blah blah blah zzzzzz." Whatever, Shrug. He demands to be taken out for drinks and dinner, and Olivier is happy to oblige, provided Claire and Russell will agree to join them. "An artist never questions her right to experience everything the world has to offer," he tells her. "And by 'everything the world has to offer,' I mean 'sex with me.' You know, just in case you weren't sure." Yeah. I think Claire sums it up best for us with, "Okay, I'm officially scared now."

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Six Feet Under

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