Six Feet Under
Nobody Sleeps

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 1 USERS: A+
Who Rocks The Party That Rocks Your Body?

Back at the bar, Shrug is close to scoring with that blonde we saw before, so Olivier decides to ratchet up his own attack on Claire by trashing the guy behind his back. The kids report that they found his work to be "way too on the nose," and Olivier admits that every nasty thing he said earlier about the guy was the absolute truth. "You are a brilliant artist," he smarms at Claire. "That piece you did in the studio last week was better than anything [Shrug] has done in the last ten years." Then he gives Russell a blatantly back-handed compliment by telling him that he'll merely be "successful beyond [his] wildest dreams." Oy. Shut up, Professor Wanna Lay. Russell insists that he doesn't care at all what other people think of his work, and Olivier gets all older and wiser and sleazier on them by announcing that kids don't even know what they think themselves. "I have to pee," announces Russell, which seems to be the appropriate response to the stream of waste that's been pouring out of Olivier's mouth all night. Although it would have been so much more shocking if he'd said "shit," don't you think? Once he's alone with Claire, Olivier puts it into overdrive. "Your talent is epic. It's like the tail of a comet," he tells her. Sigh. I miss George Imnotassleazyasthis. He was creepy in a so much more pleasant way, wasn't he? "And God created beauty," adds Olivier, as he reaches out to cup her face in his hands. Oh, please. If Claire went for guys who quote the Bible, don't you think we'd already be married by now? ["And he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel. And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, and said 'Get me this damsel to wife.'" -- Genesis 34:2-3] Russell emerges from the bathroom just in time to see this, and he stands across the room contemplating all manner of nasty things he might like to do to his professor. Many of which, I'm sure, involve sticking very large pieces of metal into places where they don't really belong. They all decide to leave, and stick Shrug with the tab. And to her credit, Claire does seem to realize that departing now is definitely saving herself from a fate worse than Gabe. Which means, of course, that she'll screwing the professor before next week's episode is even halfway over.

"Oh my God, that feels unbelievably good," groans Ruth, grossing me out once again. She's on the sofa with her feet in Lisa's hands, and everyone else in the room is sprawled out on various chairs, floors, and laps. Except for Nate, that is, who is cowering like a scared little boy on the steps as he watches his wife rub mother's feet. Yeah. Ew. That would have to be a pretty weird visual for just about anyone, never mind someone whose psyche is as fragile as Nate's is right now. This week's parade of Fisher family genetic foibles is extended when we learn that Keith never gives David foot massages because his feet stink. "You get that from your father," explains Ruth. Hmm. Let's see here. The Fishers are stinky, gassy, they look strange in swimwear, and they suffer from excessive pubic hair growth. Hang on a second while I call my parents and find out if there's any chance I might have been adopted. Nate decides to liven things up a bit at this point by telling everyone about a dream he had. "It was about a month ago," he begins. "I was getting a foot massage, and I think you all know I have extremely ticklish feet." Oh, yeah. That tears it. I'm totally getting a DNA test in the morning. I'm sure I can find some of Nate's hair in the drain for comparison purposes. He also mentions that it was The Late Nate who was providing this massage, and that everyone was there in his dream except for Kathy and Keith, which did seem a little rude at first. But then he also mentions that Claire was present, so I guess technically speaking it could have been a family-only dream. Of course, the question of what exactly constitutes "family" in this case is about to raised by Ruth herself, so we'll just hold off on that conversation for a minute. The upshot of Nate's dream, which couldn't be more "on the nose" if had been forged on a nose-shaped anvil, is that he was unable to find his shoes when the massage was over, which our forum readers report is a well-known symbol for death. It's also our tie-in to that opening scene with The Bad Seed, which means that with any luck, Maya will be grown up and evil enough to head-butt Lisa to death any day now.

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Six Feet Under




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