Six Feet Under
Out, Out, Brief Candle

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Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Dead Man Running

Kut to Kroehner, where the Original Fighting Whitey (Matt Gilardi) is arriving for work. Last season's abrasive Grace Under Fire Girl pulls up in her sweet silver Mercedes convertible, and we're quickly reminded that she's both his boss and a bitch. She's still pissed that he hasn't snapped up Fisher & Sons, and after entreating him to "play like [he's] got a big dick," she informs him that his end-of-the-year deadline to buy out our boys has been moved up, because "Christmas came early." And then she fires his sorry albino ass. You know, I did a lot of bitching last year about how pointless the whole Gilardi storyline really was, but it's now sorta sad to see him go so suddenly. "Mitzi, please!" he begs. "I can do this." "You know, just because I fucked you, that doesn't put us on a first-name basis," she replies. Boy, I know what that's like. Sars still makes me call her "Sars," for God's sake.

At the Formaldehyde Fortress, the brothers are also starting their day. David informs Nate about the DGDJ, but then heads off for a sales meeting in Torrance, leaving the newly-licensed Nate to handle the intake. "Do me a favor," says David. "Don't even mention the word 'cremation.'" ["That's my boy." -- Lazarus] "Okay," replies Nate. "Can I mention the word 'condescending'?" Heh. Later on, at the intake, the parents of The Now Actually Dead Black Guy are reminiscing about their lost son. "He even had NFL sheets," sobs the mother, as they go on and on about how all their son ever wanted was to play pro football. Oh, for God's sake, people. I had NFL sheets when I was a kid, and the closest I ever got to playing pro ball were the term papers I used to write for Donovan McNabb when I was at Syracuse. I'm just saying. Nate looks exceedingly uncomfortable through all this, which leads me to wonder if the AVM is somehow affecting his vaunted "gift" for handling these sorts of situations. He does, however, manage to sell them a $9,200 Titan IV casket, so at least he's still a better salesman than Rico.

And speaking of Rico, he and the wife have apparently decided to go house hunting. They should really consult Uncle Bob about that. I hear he's the expert. Rico's cousin has come along with them, ostensibly to help check the place out, but it's really just so he can ride Rico for being pussy-whipped. "I'm just breaking it down for you like the guys are telling me," he says. "You been acting like a candy-ass bitch ever since you got married." Gee, I wonder if that will be a relevant plot point later in the show? Vanessa, by the way, loves the house, because it's got a yard for the boys and is closer to Rico's job. And judging from their jubilant hug, I'd say they'll be making an offer on the place any day now.

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Six Feet Under

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