And now...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! David enters Arthur's room without so much as waiting for a "Please enter," where he finds the suit he bought and a note from Arthur.
Downstairs, David's reading the note to a uninterested Claire, who is merely the placebo group for uninterested when David tries to involve Anita emotionally. "Effective immediately, I am resigning from Fisher and Diaz as well as releasing tenancy of my room," reads David. "I no longer feel comfortable in these surroundings. Best, Arthur." Anita asks who Arthur is, which David rebuts with a point-blank, "Who are you?" Claire takes care of the introductions, including of Nate when he walks in with Maya. Anita bids Nate a leading "Hi." They must not have been pronouncing her name very clearly, because upon her first meeting with Nate we discover it is, in fact, "Lolita." David tells Nate, "Arthur quit!" But Nate doesn't care because he has to go get laid. David asks Nate if he has any garage sale stuff, but Nate is quick to let them know, "Everything I have, I need." As Nate walks out, David is back on Arthur, worrying that David and Keith were trying to "welcome wagon him into Gayland." You know what ride there rules? The Gay-o-tron. And the table settings are to die for. Claire rebuts this instantly, noting to a not-nearly-horrified-enough David, "Arthur had a thing with Mom. In fact, I'm pretty sure they were fuck buddies." David exhales in a disgusted fashion, but at least Arthur's plain yogurt containers were filled with plain yogurt and not with poo.
Oh, no! In the very same episode the throw a Buffy's Sister Plot at us, we're also confronted with Buffy's actual sister! I don't belieeeeeeeeeeeve it! But there she is, nevertheless, Ms. Michelle Trachtenberg, playing the role of diva. We're outdoors of the Ellen show, where Keith learns he'll be on Celeste detail, and there's Dawn, wearing a zebra-themed coat and barking into a cell phone, "No, I'm fine doing the crappy Kid's Choice Awards, but I will not present with Hilary fucking Duff. There has to be someone else." What about Michelle Trachtenberg? Nah. Her career's in the toilet.
Brenda picks up and dials a phone. She gets Joe's answering machine -- with is just a beep -- and leaves a pathetic message. Shouldn't have eaten his dog, yo.
Okay, seriously? Like, on Will & Grace? Where they'll just be walking around, minding their own business every week, when suddenly, like, J.Lo and four of the New Kids will pop out of a bowl of soup and they'll all do a Jack impersonation? That's what watching this subplot of Six Feet Under is like. Keith is standing outside of Celeste's door now, and here's Ellen DeGeneres, who I clearly adore. I love her. I love her comedy. I love that, in a world where you can see celebrity coaching down to each talking point, only Ellen and Jon Stewart can make celebrity interviews seem fresh. And that's because Jon Stewart interviewing a state representative from Wisconsin doesn't exactly constitute "celebrity," so really it's Ellen in a class by herself, y'all. Anyway, Ellen is here. She walks up to Celeste Trachtenberg's dressing room and starts to let herself in, but Keith tells her he's not allowed to let anyone by. She tells him as nicely as possible that she likes his shirt and compliments the color, pronouncing "mauve" in as many ways as possible. She then opens the door to Celeste's dressing room and enters, greeting Celeste, "I'm Ellen." Celeste laughs, "I know that!" Keith smiles at the prettiness of mauve.