"I am so, so sorry" offers the sympathetic mien of Arthur "Wondertertaker" Martin, as he leans so deeply into the camera frame that he breaks the fourth wall and we accidentally click black-framed glasses and I get a weird shiver I'm having a lot of trouble explaining. He continues his somber, sympathetic tone of voice (as opposed to his usual tone of "somber, default"), speaking a word I might accidentally consider naming a newborn kitten if I thought its name could always be spoken in such a soothing and reassuring way: "Cancer." Sitting across from him on the couch is David "Good Good Good Good Boys, They Make Me Feel So Bad" Fisher, who looks down at the floor, fake-sad, and responds, "Yes. Yes, cancer." Arthur puts a hand on David's knee with one hand and comes at him with a box of tissues with the other while continuing, "I'm here for you," and David waits a second before somewhat comically breaking character and telling him, "Better," because we knew this was some sort of training session because no one in the Fisher household dies until the writers start to get tired of George. David continues his feedback session, adding, "Use 'we're here,' not 'I'm here.' You're not their friend." Arthur responds with gratitude, telling David, "You are, quite simply put, the best I've ever worked with." David reminds him, "Arthur, I'm the only one you've ever worked with." Awkward. A pregnant pause later and the front doorbell chimes, David telling Arthur, "Okay. This one's all you." Sniff. They grow up so fast.
Except, of course, for the dead ones. Arthur stands in the foyer with the Stolte parents, who discuss a detail of the service in which they would like "something beautiful, something light." Arthur -- surpassing his teacher already and listening attentively instead of other, numerous vocational alternatives such as getting a big ol' BJ in your own funeral home while your basement spews blood and demons -- responds thoughtfully, "Perhaps white with her favorite color?" A tearful, subdued discussion between Mr. and Mrs. Stolte questions whether their daughter's favorite color was purple or light blue, and Arthur proposes that they go with "white with a periwinkle silk lining," seeing as "periwinkle is sort of in between purple and light blue." Check out the big brain on Arthur! For anyone who says that the Crayola 64 box isn't an educational tool, I would caution them to note Arthur's real-life application of this knowledge, as the dead girl in question is gussied up in her periwinkle finery under an azure sky and returned to the raw umber earth. I'm glad to see Arthur was paying attention back in the kindergarten days. Though I'm willing to bet he also ate just the tiniest little bit of paste. Arthur offers to see the couple out, and when they're safely off-camera, David gives the a-okay symbol because he was pleased by what he saw. But then again, he's the guy standing proudly in front of a wall of coffins like he's on the scenic overlook at Coffin National Park, so sometimes there really is no accounting for taste.