Six Feet Under
Parallel Play

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Djb: B- | 1 USERS: B+
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Poo II: While Poo Were Sleeping

Definitely, definitely, definitely tired of this. Definitely. Rico's daughter-in-whore Nicole shakes a bottle of aspirin while You-Have-Been- On-This-Show- Too-Many-Times-nPlus-Infiniti talks on the phone about food stamps because her life is very sad. When she hangs up, Rico tells her he didn't know that they needed food stamps. She replies that she doesn't, but that if she uses the food stamps for food, she can use the cash for something else. And then, what does she do? Anyone? You in the back, sleeping? Anyone? That's right! She cries. She cries that she doesn't want Nicole to see her cry. She cries cryingly about crying, telling him that she's freaked out because she found out she has...lupus. Because I've been doing this job for five years, and for some reason lupus is the only connective tissue joining all of the shows that I recap. It's awesome that I get to have a superpower, but it sucks that that superpower is giving television characters lupus. She got it from "leaking implants," and, as it turns out, she knows without seeing a doctor that she needs $5000 for surgery or, alternately, a $1500 for a deposit on the payment plan to remove both sets of implants. Rico stares at her for a good long time, and she runs all the way to another corner of the same room crying that she wasn't asking him for the money. Rico walks to where she sits crumbled in an opportunistic heap and asks her if she thinks she'd be able to pay him back. "I don't know where I could get $1500 in a chunk like that." She starts to cry again, and his mad bargaining skillz are rigorously tested: "I'll just give you the money." She cries and hugs him because she didn't want to suck cock for tit money, and now she won't have to.

Back at Chez Sexy Single Mom, Nate sips a smoothie as he watches Maya being cared for by Sexy Single Mom's phalanx of helpers. He finds her in the living room and tells her, "You've got a great life." She thanks him and thinks about thanking money, who really made it all possible. He asks her if he needs a coaster for his drink, and she ookily shoots back, "You can put it anywhere," not bothering to whisper out of one side of her mouth, "In a sex way." She unearths a book from a nearby shelf, handing it to Nate and telling him, "This is the book I was telling you about." It's No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh, and it's actually published by an imprint I used to work for. I saw that book lying around every day, and chose instead to swipe copies of books with pictures and books that say mean things about unlikable Presidents. It was like my own personal Amazon wish list, but with less Wilco. She speaks to him product-placingly about the book, asking if he'll be happy when he reads it. He segues this into asking her how she's so happy and whether this is what she wanted her life to be, and she responds, "This is actually better than I expected." He comes a bit closer and sits down on the bed, and she stands up to face him, saying, "It's okay." He asks, "What's okay?" Apparently, her ability to lay.

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Six Feet Under

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