Six Feet Under
Someone Else's Eyes

Episode Report Card
Aaron: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Dead as Folk? No. Dead as Fuck? Yes.

We're forty-one minutes in, so it must be time for a montage. Brenda types on her laptop and smokes a joint (POT=1), while Nate cruises down the highway on his motorcycle. At least he's wearing a helmet this week.

At the Legless Flower Shop, some scary-looking Russian guy shows up, demanding to see Nikolai. There's some not very funny "comedy" bits as Robbie tries not to appear intimidated, and then the Mob Guy steals a bouquet of roses. He delivers a not-very-thinly veiled threat, and leaves.

Out on the beach, Nate tears off his helmet and starts chatting with The Late Nate, who congratulates him for "not shooting blanks." Nate can't decide whether or not to tell Brenda about the baby, and since we're in his head instead of a flashback, The Late Nate is once again relegated to playing his dark side. "Do you really think she'd stay with you?" he asks his son. "My guess is she's just looking for a way out anyway. You know, ever since she found out about the…[hilarious hand gesture pointing at Nate's brain]. Nothing turns the women on more than a potentially fatal brain condition," he continues. "Try coughing up blood. I bet you'll be getting laid left and right." Well, it hasn't been working for me so far, but I'll definitely keep at it. Flick. Ahhhhhh. Nate has remained silent through this entire spiel, so The Late Nate keeps on talking. "You know, buddy-boy, sometimes you can be a fucking moron [Fk=27]…you can get away with anything. There's shit about me you still don't know. Things you'll never know. And you're better off for it." I'm going to indulge my deluded self-importance a bit here and pretend that he's talking about the lipstick-coated glass. Nate finally manages to say that Brenda deserves to know, and Dead Dad looks him right in the eye and says, "You want to die alone? Go right ahead." And then we cut to Nate, standing alone on the beach. Nice one.

Non-nice one. We're at Brotherfucking Boudoir, and Brenda is ranting about her bathroom boffing to poor bored-out-of-her-mind Hooker Scrunchieface. I'm not even going to bother trying to transcribe Brenda's ravings here, but she's basically thrilled to have done it, and there's a grand total of five "fucks" in the scene, so Fk now equals thirty-two. There's also at least one "goddamn" in a place where you just know Ball really wanted to say "fuck" but couldn't because it was already overused. The scene ends with Scrunchie offering to give Brenda the number of her psychiatrist, and that reminds me yet again of the one thing that really bothers me about this relationship. I mean, I can't be the only one who's wondering why Scrunchie hasn't offered her a job yet, right? I guess they're saving that one for the finale. Or possibly for next week's episode, which is entitled "The Secret."

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Six Feet Under

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