Six Feet Under

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Incest Is Best

Brenda's lying in her bed with the newspaper and a spent breakfast tray when Billy taps on the doorframe and comes in. He's dressed in another snazzy item from the same line of fashions as the famous "Ski Iraq" shirt, but this one says "Surf Saudi" and it has sleeves. He's also carrying a manila envelope that he says contains Maya's medical history and directions to the pediatrician's new office. Billy offers to go with her to the doctors, but Brenda says, "I think the handoff will be better if it's just Ruth and me and Maya." So, six weeks since she dropped off the kid. I hope there have at least been visits since then. Not judging Brenda, but after that long it's going to be a little hard for Ruth to let go. Either that, or Ruth is ready to kill her. Brenda sits up as Billy says it'll be good to have Maya back in the house. Brenda agrees as sincerely as she can, and then the baby inside her gives a kick. She lets Billy feel the little parasite thrashing around in there. "Someone wants out," he comments. "Two more months," Brenda says. Oh, two more months, my vagina. She's fucking huge. We're supposed to believe she's only seven months along at her size, let alone five and a half the episode before? Is she giving birth to a fire engine?

"I'm not drunk," Claire says drunkenly. Her coworker Kirsten, standing in the bathroom at work, suggests reasonably, "It seems like you are." Claire lurches out of the stall she locked herself in as Kirsten points out that Claire's fallen asleep at her desk twice today, and she smells of liquor. She doesn't mention the vomit in Claire's hair. Which isn't actually there, because I made it up. Somebody on the makeup staff fell down on the job, I'd say. "You can't smell vodka," Claire scoffs, which kind of gives away the game. "Anyway," Claire says, going to the sink, "you're being a little fucking bitch." Kirsten says she's sorry about the death of Claire's brother, and if Claire goes home and sleeps it off, Kirsten won't tell Human Resources. Hey, what happened to Personnel? Claire responds to this generous offer by screaming at Kirsten to go ahead and tell, throwing a blizzard of paper towels and Kleenexes at her. Intervention over; Kirsten yells, "All right, I am wicked pissed. You are going to be so fired." "Yeah, well, I'm fucking Ted," Claire smirks. Kirsten: "No way." Claire: "Way." Wow, it really is still the nineties in that office. Kirsten stomps out, crushed, while Claire flips a double bird at her retreating back. "God," she says to her own reflection. "'Way.'" Would it be accurate to say Claire's a mean drunk, since she's rarely not mean? I guess that would make her a meaner drunk.

Claire is indeed so fired, judging by the next scene showing her wearing her coat and cleaning out her desk while Ted stands by. Wow, he's security, too? He needs a raise. Claire throws an envelope at her Formerly Perky Cubemate, saying, "I need you to file this for me." Ted finally leads her toward the exit as Nerd Drone watches in frozen shock. Claire stops and sarcastically announces to the floor, "You're all doing really important work here, and I'm sorry if I fucked it up for anybody." Ted gets her moving again, suggesting she shut up for a few seconds, but even that's too much, as she pulls free of him and tells the nearest drone, "Everyone you know is gonna die." It's prettier when the Flaming Lips say it. Ted finally drags her out as she hollers, "And that little Kirsten is a fucking bitch!" I'm not sure if even the Flaming Lips could make that sound pretty.

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Six Feet Under




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