Crate & Quarrel. Keith, David, Sarge, and the Chorus Kids are all enjoying a post-paintball beer bash. Sarge and Keith, however, seem to be enjoying it way more than anyone else, because they're totally blitzed and sprawled out on the sofa. "They may be hell on the battlefield," teases the LWSD II, "but they don't have much party stamina." "And they call us choirboys," adds David. "It's sweet." The Chorus Kids have to leave to attend a previous engagement, and David escorts them out the door as he casts a skeptical eye on his drunken boyfriend. Once they're alone in the apartment, the manly men on the couch start talking about whether or not either of them has ever seen real combat. They both say no, and Keith totally neglects to mention the time he shot a guy for no good reason. Then Sarge lights up a joint, and believe it or not, Keith actually decides to take a few hits. Even after everything he went through with Karla, it seems no one can escape the all-powerful lure of sweet, sweet sensimilla in this, our Alan Ball world. "I like David," admits Sarge. "Be careful, somebody might take him away." Keith just laughs at this notion, and suggests that Sarge go right ahead and try. "I live down in La Habra," continues The Sarge. "I didn't mean to do it, but I'm too wasted to drive." Being both well-versed in the mating clichés of the gay (and straight, for that matter) lifestyle, Keith and Sarge just crack up laughing at how obvious a line that really is.
Upstairs, David and Keith settle into bed. Keith is all fired up and ready for some action, but David isn't so sure. "You killed me today," he mock-pouts. "You loved it," answers Keith, as he pulls him into a kiss. Suddenly David freezes, and Keith turns to see Sarge, framed in the doorway with his little corporal at parade rest in his tighty-whities. "It's cold out there," he says. "Got room for me?" Keith and David exchange a silent don't ask-don't tell sort of look, and then Keith answers in the affirmative. Sarge climbs onto the bed, and we quickly fade to white. And I know some of you weren't sure if David was really into this idea, but my take on his expression here is that he totally was, but just didn't want to admit it. He's totally working that furrowed-brow/bedroom eyes thing he does whenever he's turned on, and he definitely was checking Sarge out earlier in the day. I also know that many of you were disappointed that we faded to white without seeing any action, but it's getting pretty close to my deadline at this point, so I'm afraid I can't spare you much sympathy.
Fade up on the next morning, as David comes downstairs to discover the highly domestic tableau of Sarge cooking eggs while Keith relaxes with a cup of coffee. Everything about this scene is totally perfect, from David's bed-head to the awkward morning-after chit-chat ("So, Sarge, will you be paint-balling today?") to the sarcastically knowing looks David and Keith keep exchanging. Sarge blithely makes himself at home, and even orders David to scoot over a bit so that he can grab a spot at the table. Keith is totally enjoying his partner's discomfort throughout it all, and even risks a quick wink when Sarge asks for "the funnies." Heh. Of course, I wonder if they'd be feeling so superior if they knew Sarge was kicking both their asses in the "Which SFU Character Would Entice You Into An Airport Closet" thread. Then again, the mind fairly boggles at the notion that anyone would be willing to follow a Chris Keller look-alike into a closet, but that's a different story.