Six Feet Under
That's My Dog

Episode Report Card
Djb: F | 33 USERS: D+
YOU GRADE IT
Someone Left The Crack Out In The Rain

David drives down a dark, dark alley and tussles with the dog for a spell, grabbing him and showing "Charlie" to Jimmy. But, upon closer inspection, Jimmy notes, "That's not my dog." Jimmy lets the dog go and a fight finally ensues, David pushing back. But Jimmy remains with the power of the Second Amendment firmly behind him, firing a warning shot into the corner and demanding of David, "Give me your wallet." David asks an incredulous "What?" But rather than go through the whole Jules Winnfield "What ain't no country I ever heard of" cleverness, Jimmy just punts David to the ground with a slam of the gun barrel to his face, repeating, "Give it." David hands him the wallet, and Jimmy explains that he took it "so they can't identify your body right away. That's right, you fucking faggot. You are so dead." He kicks the holy living shit out of David in a way I won't explain in too much detail on account of not wanting to watch it again. Jimmy returns to the van and comes back with the gas can, which is pretty excessive considering the gun, dousing David in it and observing that's it's "time to end this once and for all." David begs for his life, and Jimmy puts the gun on David's teeth and insists, "Suck it." David takes the gun all the way into his mouth and Jimmy tells him, "Close your eyes." He takes the gun out of David's mouth and tells him to close his eyes. He cocks the thing and, in appropriate TV form, David's life flashes before his eyes: he's young and frolicking in a sprinkler. He's with Keith. He's working on a dead body. Keith. Body. Something else. He opens his eyes to the screech of Jimmy pulling away in his van, and he's left alone and non-dead in the alley. A cut later, he's wandering the streets of Long Beach on which nobody lives, getting passed up for a ride by a passing car, and finally walking into the headlights of a police car that stops in front of his bloody-ass self. What about now? Think you can escape now?

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Six Feet Under

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