Keith seems to agree with my line of thinking entirely, reminding us how the thinking man's gay man toooooooooootally transcends bullshit relationship hegemony such as monogamy or liking one another when he tells David, "It's been okay for both of us to have an occasional random fuck here. What's gonna be so different?" Well, they totally make 'em hotter in Cleveland then they do in L.A., for one thing. David frets on, "You're gonna meet some cooler, smarter, hotter guy who's a lot easier to get along with than I am." David, dude, he could do that without leaving L.A. Keith: "I could do that here." Mind meld with Keith! Well, something had to keep this episode from the tanking "F" grade it spends its latter half begging for. Keith reassures David that the money he's going to make on tour will be enough for them to buy a house "with a pool and a hot tub and a steam shower" -- even though we just learned from the opening that people don't kill people, pools and hot tubs and steam showers do -- "and room for kids." Keith's spoken-word version of "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" has the needle scratched off the gaily-rollicking LP by David's return to self-flagellating reality, as he responds, "All of which you'll be sharing with a cooler, smarter, hotter guy you're going to meet on tour." And y'know...I could be with someone who is hard to get along with. And I could be with someone who is a funeral director. And I could be with someone who makes a living guarding the world from Michelle Trachtenberg, and, in many ways, guards Michelle Trachtenberg from us. But I'm sorry. It's over the first time someone pronounces the word "tour" with two syllables. Shut up, David.
Keith wants David to shut up: "Don't you know that I ain't looking?" -- oh, he just loves you when you talk all street -- "I'm settled down. I found what I want." Keith begs him not to be insecure, and David must be on the crack pipe (oooooh, a little in-recap foreshadowing, for those fans of unflinching Aristotelian dramatic structure) if he honestly believes his own reply: "I'm not insecure." Keith plows on by telling David, "If you want me not to do anything while I'm gone, just ask me." David tells him to "be safe," insisting, "even with blowjobs, you have to use a condom." Keith laughs, like, "Ah, that old wives' tale again!" and thinks about those red, white, and blue pops you could buy from the ice cream man and how they were really only a refreshing bit of summer fun if you took the plastic wrapping off of it before you ate it, and how if you didn't, it would just kind of melt away and there'd be nothing left under it and after a while you'd just throw it away all unsatisfied and be like, "What the eff did I even bother with all that for?" Anyway, that's a totally unrelated story that has nothing to do with this scene.