The apartment buzzer, um, buzzes, and Keith straightens his jacket and asks, "How do I look?" David drools a puddle so sizable it would surely kill someone in the opening credits and sighs, "So fucking hot it's ridiculous." And I've said it before and I'll say it again. I just don't see it. They kiss much more chastely than one would expect of a couple about to part for three months -- and it's not even like I'm all jonesing for some hot man/man action between David and Keith, but it is weird that this show does sometimes default to Dick-Van-Dyke-and- Mary-Tyler-Moore-sleeping-in-two-twin-beds mixed signals during moments of all-male intimacy. They stand and stare for a minute, David telling Keith he thinks he's going to cry (a little crack always fixes that problem for me), and the sound of the buzzer breaks the mood and sends Keith storming out of the room with, "All right, bitch. Calm down!" How romantic!
I totally didn't hear this line the first line around! Nate "Go Ahead With Your Own Wife, Leave Me Alone" Fisher sits at the Fisher family kitchen table, reading the paper. He mumbles, "Bush just lies and no one cares" to my endless amusement, in a sparkling pearl of partisan dialogue that is like a gorgeous flower popping up through so much manure. That has been sent to the house. In a decorative box. Maya lies motionless in Nate's arms while Claire "Picture Imperfect" Fisher pours some coffee and Ruth "No Shit, Sherlock" Fisher idles at the sink doing things that ladies do in the kitchen. Wow. Three of-age Fishers voluntarily sharing space in the kitchen at the same time. That's gotta be a record of some kind. Claire turns back toward the table and notes that some of her faaaahncy art has food on it, and she freaks out and runs over, screaming, "You got fucking oatmeal on my prints!" Don't curse in front of the child! For good measure, Claire tacks on a directionless and muttered "asshole" just to make sure that whatever watchdog group that had already red-flagged this scene -- y'know, the one with the words "Family" and "Council" somewhere in its title -- will instead charge the network a billion dollars, shoot the canister containing this scene into space, and somehow find a way to blame the whole thing on Howard Stern. Ruth defends Claire and leans in with a motherly "Yes, Nate, they're for Claire's crit." Claire tells her mother, "Don't say 'crit.' It sounds weird coming from you." And I totally want to school Claire in the whole "respect for elders" arena, but then I'd have to take back everything I said through the tears of uproarious laughter the one time my mother unadvisedly decided to use the word "dis" at a family dinner.