"So I woke up one morning and the bastard was gone," Kathy Bates tells us in one of her typical stories. She's sitting with a tureen of red wine in front of her as George sits silently next to her thinking about Mount Saint Helens. Sarah busts in asking George what his deal is, asking him to tell them all about him, noting, "You seem interesting" because this is just the introduction to the opposite sketch. Bettina busts in because fat ladies can be so ballsy! She adds, "Yeah, Ruth tells me you had a son sending you boxes of shit." Hey, yeah. What ever happened to that guy, anyway? Ruth rebukes Kathy Bates for speaking out of turn, but she tells Ruth that it's nothing her own daughter wouldn't do, asking George, "You wanna compare war stories?" George's answer -- "Obsidian makes the best building material" -- does not suffice, partly because that's not even what he says. Instead, he tells Bettina point blank, "Actually, no I don't." He then stands up and asks Sarah if she has a television, explaining, "There's a documentary on PBS I wouldn't mind watching." Unless it's Nova's "Worst Husbands Of The Cosmos," it probably doesn't even have anything new he could learn from. Sarah points the way and George takes off, leaving behind him an angry wake of awkwardly-glancing aging femininity.
"Having a hard night?" asksa bartender David is about to hook up with . David has wandered into what I thought was going to be the bar of the restaurant Nate was having dinner in, but alas, Los Angeles has more than one restaurant and fewer than five fax machines. David orders a vodka gimlet, explaining in response to the bartender's "Really?" an almost apologetic, "My father used to drink them when he wanted something strong." Dude, you should be able to order a thimble-full of Clamato with one Goldfish cracker floating on it if you want and the bartender can keep his damn mouth shut. While he's waiting for his drink, David turns to look at the crowded restaurant, where he feels he can hear their chatter that goes something like this: "Let's kick the shit out of him. No, let's kill him." Because he is in pain. His waking dream is soon to be broken up by the bootytender, who offers David a plate of food the kitchen made by accident, thus kicking off an impending night of other people's sloppy seconds.
Celeste and Keith sit in the back seat of the limo. She tells him that he shaves well and seems to spend a lot of money on clothes, and he puts together that word is outed, cursing the name of Javier. Celeste tells Keith that Javier has a "blabber mouth," noting, "I think it's because he's got a real serious crush on you." Keith asserts that Javier is both married and straight, but on TV everyone who is homophobic is just trying to cover for what they really are because the writer of this episode believed the line that bullies are just insecure themselves. Uh-huh.